The point of exams?

Having sat through hundreds of exams in my lifetime, be that SATs, GCSE's, A Levels, University exams, pre-job tests, and general tests and exams throughout school, I have started to wonder what exactly the point of these exams are.

After watching THIS video, these thoughts just got even more structured.

What exactly is the main point of an exam? It’s not really a test of what you know, it’s more of what you remember. Ever had an argument and remembered a great comeback a few hours later? This is what an exam is like for me. No matter how hard I study, revise or force myself to attempt to remember things, I get a mental block spanning the length of my exam and end up more stressed than I was before I sat in my seat.

This sort of thing really hit me when it came to my GCSE Maths exams – although this was a good 5 or so years ago, this definitely still applies to exams today. I physically cannot do maths at all. As soon as I see a sum or equation, each separate number merges into one and I usually end up angry at myself or in tears. I managed to just scrape though my GCSE Maths with a C, and I still wasn't happy.

Although maths is a compulsory subject until the end of year 11 (16 years old) in the UK, surely there will be a massive change and gap between those who have minds more orientated towards numerical reasoning, to those with a more verbal and literal brain, such as myself.

On top of this, about 99% of things you learn for an exam have no application in the outside world. How many times have you had to use something you learned in maths in your school years? Yes, I get that some professions might actually use all of these things, but not everyone who goes through school will become an engineer.

Personally, I find literacy exams a bazillion times easier than anything with even a single number in. I can write for days about almost anything as long as I have a tiny bit of background information on it. Want me to write about the hidden meaning of a poem I have never read before? Sure, give me 10 minutes to read it. Want me to write about the history of a country I have never heard of before? Cool, just give me a few basic facts. Want me to fill a book with absolutely anything that comes into my head? Fantastic!

How can exams expect to test absolutely every individual who passes through the education system in a fair way? Like me, one person might be academically good at one sort of subject, and then be less than average on another.

This also applies to those who excel at art. Take my sister for example. She has an incredible eye for art, and can draw absolutely anything in a matter of hours. In fact, I am going to include some of her artwork below.

She claims, although I dispute this to a certain extent, that she struggles with slightly more academic subjects. This actually ended up stressing her out in her GCSE’s last year, because she excels at art, she didn't think she would do as well in her other subjects.

Although I understand that the introduction of subject choices in GCSE’s allow this to be slightly eliminated, and doesn't massively affect anyone until they can completely choose every subject for A Level exams, this doesn't stop the stress, pressure, and general being a pain in the ass of exams themselves.

Anyone who knows me will probably be reading this either shaking their heads, or feeling a bit confused as to why I am writing about exams because I “got good grades”, “passed my exams”, and “have nothing to complain about”, but that didn't come without a lot of hard work, stress, tears, and me being general all round hell.

Why should exams put so much pressure on one person whilst they’re still young when it’s very rare a job you apply for 10 years down the line won’t bother to ask for them, or only ask for a select few grades? Or when they become less of a fair exam and more of a memory test? Or when they don’t test you fairly based on which way your brain processes information.

There is so much pressure on kids these days to get good grades, to get good jobs.

The truth is that you don’t need a degree to do something you love, being good at something and enjoying every moment of it will make you richer than money ever could, and a good education doesn't make you better than someone who doesn't have that privilege.

The world is your oyster, so don't let a random letter next to a subject define you for the rest of your life. If you enjoy something, go and do it. 

The sky is the limit, and no one is going to stop you.

So, what do you think? Could exams be more individually orientated, do you think they’re fine as they are, or maybe you think that everything I have said is just a load of crap.

Keep swimming,

RefMe: The BEST free student referencing app

| FACEBOOK | TWITTER | TUMBLR | INSTAGRAM | BLOGLOVIN |

Tiny Talk - episode four: 'no' means NO - consent

So this week I want to talk about consent and how saying "no" means no, but also talk about indirect consent etc. This seems to be a pressing issue at the moment after some attention on Twitter and YouTube surrounding some YouTubers. It seems this is a pressing issue, and is a serious area for concern. 

I expect many of you think of rape when people talk about consent, but in my eyes this can also include sexual manipulation or anything involving alcohol/drugs etc. I am lucky enough that I have never been in this situation, but I do know people who have, and have had to deal with emotional stress ever since. 

Something that is often overlooked is that women can manipulate men in to having sex with them too. There is a clear main focus on the fact that men are the ones who are always doing the manipulation etc. but I find that I know a lot more females who have done this than I do males. Although of course that is just people who I know. For example, the issue on how big of a factor alcohol plays in a situation like this can be serious disputed. In a university/college setting it is no secret that there is an extremely high alcohol consumption rate, and people very often have 'one night stands' - this is just simple common knowledge - but where should the line be drawn? 

There is also the issue of emotional or psychological blackmail and manipulation. Someone, be it male or female, may blackmail the other in to something by saying that they might do something to them if they don't have sex with them. I think this is also overlooked as many people seem to think that in a relationship, you are obliged to have sex with the person. This is not the case whatsoever. The other person may feel like their actions are justified and that they feel they are in the right, but if you feel like you're being forced in to something then don't do it.

Also, if a woman, or even a man, is dressed provocatively it does not mean that they are asked for sex or even to be raped. How someone dresses is up to them and does not then invite another person for sex just by that. This is something that infuriates me in this debate and is often something that is posed by narrow minded people. A persons dress sense does not dictate this whatsoever, and I find the point posed about this being an open invitation as completely devoid of any relevance. 

Although this post is entitled "no" means NO, a lack of consent doesn't have to be that direct. If someone pushes you away, or says they're not sure, don't go through with your actions. They may be doubting what they originally thought was something they wanted which acts as a form of indirect consent. Just because someone doesn't directly say "no", doesn't mean that they want to go through with it.

Well I say you are not obliged to do anything you don't want to do. Don't let someone force you in to doing something, whether it be sexual or otherwise. You are your own person and you have control on what you do with your body, or what you do not do with it. If someone threatens to break up with you, or tell people about you, then just get rid of them. They are absolutely no good to you, and are quite clearly only after one thing. Don't ever be afraid to say no. A healthy relationship doesn't have sex as the focal point - there are many other things that, when combined, form amazing relationships. No one has the right to tell you to do anything - do what only YOU want to do. 

If you are having any issues with anything like this, or you think you know of someone who is, then click here to be put in contact with someone who can help.

Thank you for reading, and stay tuned for episode five of Tiny Talk coming soon.

Tiny talk - episode one: frenemies

I was thinking the other day that I might start a little daily series on my blog to essentially keep me sane (although that was meant to be the entire purpose of this blog in the first place...). I am hoping that this follows in the lines of Chummy Chatter by Zoella and Sprinkleofglitter where they just talk about things on their mind, or important issues. 

This is only going to be a small post I think - just a little something that's current in my life that I think might be interesting to you guys. But I will try and write these daily, each with a different theme. I will also be corresponding with Little Boots with our posts, starting tomorrow, so that you get two lots of advice and opinions - you lucky bunch!

So today's issue is frenemies. If you don't know what a frenemy is, it's basically one of those people who you could class as an acquaintance or someone surrounding your friendship group who you just don't get along with, or who bothers you in some way. 

I think this tends to affect people more in their teenage years when they are still at school, or when they're trying to make new friends at a new job, or a new environment. 

This is something I found particularly difficult to deal with in secondary school. I shan't go in to details on this, but it was all about finding out who my real friends were, and overcoming the fact I knew I would lose friends because of one person. It actually ended with me moving schools to start sixth form somewhere else because I didn't want to stay in an environment with those people anymore. Luckily this worked out really well for me, and I made a few life-long friends at this different place. 

I think it is always difficult, especially as a female, to ever trust people when it comes to friendships. There is always bitchiness and back-stabbing in most girl groups - it is just something you have to expect I think. But always remember that you will come out the other side a much better person having been through that experience. It won't seem like it at the time, and it sounds extremely cliche, but it does get better. You have to think about yourself in situations like this; if you aren't happy in a friendship group because of one, or even several members of it, then remove yourself. It will be difficult, and you probably won't like the abnormal feeling for a while, but it's worth it. Don't let a few people in your life bring you down. Especially don't let it affect your school work or anything like that, because you only get one shot at it. 

Don't go down the same dark hole I did and get completely caught up in the situation because you will make yourself ill. It's difficult to get back on track once you're that deep in, so please learn from my mistake and remove yourself and deal with the situation right away. You deserve happiness, and if that means losing a few people then you have to do it. More people will come along - you have a lifetime to secure friendships. I always thought I would be close friends with people from my school years, but in reality I now speak to only one of them on a regular basis, but a few more from when I removed myself from the first situation. 

So today's moral is: don't be put off or think too much if you don't get along with someone. You are your number one priority!


If you would like to suggest a new subject for Tiny Talk, or something you want advice on, then click one of my media buttons to the right and I will get back to you!

Tune back in tomorrow for more Tiny Talk!

Sexuality: why does it matter?

As some of you may know, Olympic team GB bronze medalist diver Tom Daley came out today as bisexual in a video on his YouTube channel. If none of you have seen this then I shall post it below:

I completely take my hat off to the man because this is such a hard thing to do, especially as someone who is always in the public eye as much as he is. Tom is currently in a relationship with a man, as he said in this video, and states that he is really happy with someone who makes him feel safe - which is something we all look for in a relationship, so good for you, Tom!

This really got me thinking about why people get so uptight about sexuality. It is such a widely discussed topic in society, however I think that it is usually discussed in such a bad light because it is one of those topics people feel awkward talking about, or feel strongly about. 

I for one cannot understand why so many people instantly judge a person because of their sexuality. I have so many friends who have had their sexuality speculated for a substantial period of time yet when they came out were subject to a barrel full of abuse and hatred. Now that is the sort of thing that I think is just not on. Why should someone get abused and discriminated just because of who they are? I think this is the lowest form of abuse in modern society. 

A person cannot help who they are; whether they are attracted to males, females, or both, they should be accepted. Who cares whether someone is gay, bisexual or straight? I find that people who warrant this sort of abuse to someone because of their sexuality are rather insecure about themselves and find security in the abuse of another - it's a form of bullying.

One of my friends recently confided in me about his sexuality after previously coming out as bisexual. He admitted to me that his feelings and attraction were mainly towards males, but he was having trouble both coming to terms with it and accepting it himself. I think this is a good example of how society brainwashes people in to this sort of mentality. Just because he felt like it was a "bad" thing to feel, he was starting to resent the person he was becoming. We had a nice little chat and I gave him what I thought was some good advice (turned out it was). I told him that you cannot change who you are, and no matter what happened after that conversation that we would love him no less, and that we respected and supported whatever decision he made. If people don't like it then that is their loss - sexuality does not define a person. I then got a message from him this morning which did make me get all emotional! He had seen Tom's video which, along with my advice, has inspired him to both accept and enjoy the person that he is. He's since told people who had not previously been aware, who have been on the whole very accepting. I am just glad that I could be there to offer advice, and I have to say that it is a major privilege to know him because he is absolutely lovely and I wouldn't change him for the world.

I am actually lucky enough to have my friend make a few comments on sexuality, so I have conducted a mini interview:

In general, what was the final thing that gave you inspiration to come out?

To be honest it wasn't a choice, but rather an event which has lived in my memory as one of the most terrifying events of my life. My housemates and I were on a night out in the SU a couple of months before Christmas in 2012. Following a night of anger at myself and being drunk - which only made it worse - I finally let my emotions get the hold of me towards my housemates I succumbed to a panic attack which then lead to  my slow courage to come out to firstly my sister, brother and closest friends over a period of time.

What has the reaction been like overall from the people you have recently told?

To put it bluntly: supportive and proud. The support from individuals who already knew and have since found out has been immense, with the certain special few who I feel like I can tell anything to. The fact people have portrayed they're proud of me either by text, in person, or over Facebook has been amazing. One which really hit me came from my dad's girlfriend that I received this afternoon. It said "do you know that if you were my son I'd be very proud of you, and you are very brave" - a small text, but one that did mean a lot.

How were you feeling before you came out?

I felt like I was a liar. At the time I was in a relationship with a girl; a time I don't regret, but I knew something wasn't right. When I told her following the panic attack that I was "bisexual" and that I didn't know who I was, or what I wanted, it was really harming. I have known that I liked guys for 5 or so years and I only wish I came out sooner.

Has coming out changed this?

Um, it has. I know I have been a liar, and even yesterday I was. I would tell people that I was "bi", but not anymore. I have has experiences of both sexes and I know what is me and where my natural attraction is. I want to be with that special guy, and when people asked, and when I tell others, I won't be "bi" but I will proudly say I am "gay". So I suppose that yes, coming out has changed this. I know I still have some way to go, and when I'm out in public the initial anxieties will affect me, but I am nearly there; I am nearly the person I am and want to be.

Do you think that society's perception of sexuality prevents people from accepting who they are?

Yes, definitely. I always remember during my panic attack and the following months, I refused to accept myself because "society doesn't accept it". But I know that 90% do, and for those who don't...well then so be it. There is too much pressure on sexuality, but it is crucially advancing towards acceptance. I can't help who I am. I was watching a YouTube clip recently about coming out, and one example made clear to me how fickle some people can be. It was a clip about a mother who was struggling to accept her son for who he was, and was asked to choose between chocolate or vanilla ice cream - I know this is random, but it's a summary - and she chose chocolate. She was asked why to which she answered; "because I like chocolate". Well I like guys, and as with the ice cream it's a choice I make. Society is changing, but the problems of bullying at school, work, and public places needs to stop; it's petty and childish - what do they achieve from it? Nothing. It's hurtful and degrading, and in the 21st century it has no place.

What advice would you give to people who are too scared to come out?

You have to wait until you are ready in my opinion, but you also can't lock it up as I did because it will only make thing 100 times worse - shoving stuff inside a cupboard only gets harder and harder until it eventually topples on top of you. Start with those closest, and at your own pace, then find that one person who you can talk to about anything. I had a couple, but one in particular who was there for me no matter what after my panic attack. The best bit is that I have since found more. It is you, no matter how much you want to deny it, you can't. And boy, you will feel the relief and it is amazing! Maybe even read stories of how people have come out, celebrities and role models etc. It makes you realise what you are missing and gives you the motivation. This was something I did to give me the confidence to tell my dad. 

Although that I was there for my friend, some people are not so lucky to have support and often have no one they can turn to. On top of this, a lot of people who come out to their families and friends don't get the reaction that they deserve. Someone should not have to deal with the people they love telling them that they're not a good person because of their sexuality. That is just wrong. Just because a person doesn't conform to what the majority of society see as "normal", doesn't mean that they shouldn't be accepted and then in turn become alienated. 

Sexuality is not a defining trait of a person. Just because they are attracted to the same sex, does not make them a bad person. Society on the whole is too quick to jump on the bandwagon of the majority and judge a person based on tiny minute details. This has to stop. How would you feel if you were in their shoes? Would you feel OK that someone was judging you to the extent that people get bullied on a day to day basis? I think not. 

I genuinely wish that there could be something that I could do to help people who are suffering from this because it's such a horrible thing to go through. Obviously I have never been through this myself, but I can imagine how people can feel because of something like this. Feeling like you aren't being accepted by people you love is the worst thing in the world. 

If any of you are going through this then my email/social media links have private mail if any of you would like support. My Tumblr inbox has an "anonymous" option, and none of them will be published on my profile. 

I just ask you that you do not discriminate against someone who confides in you, or if someone you know is gay. It doesn't make you cool, and it isn't clever. It makes you less of a human being for being like that. Respect the privacy of people, and think how you would feel if it was you in that situation. 

Treat others how you wish to be treated yourself.

A big thank you to my amazing friend who gave this interview. For the purposes of this post, he shall remain anonymous. 

Bloglovin' - Twitter - Tumblr - YouTube - Google+ - Instagram

Life advice part two

A few months ago I shared with you a few snippets of things that I thought were good advice for any struggling teenager at the moment. Since then, a lot has happened, and I have had to endure a really bad few days. I was feeling extremely shit about myself, blaming myself for something that has happened although it wasn't my fault, and I haven't eaten properly in a few days. It hasn't properly hit me until now, and I'm genuinely having a bit of a breakdown here! 

I then decided to do something I have never done before, and that was to reach out to my mother. For anyone who knows me, you will know that this is a big deal for me as I never reach out to anyone, especially my mother. This forms part one of my life advice for you. I have not been one to reach out to anyone, ever. I do not take advice, and I do not listen to people even when I know they are right. After this incident, which I will not mention simply due to the fact that I am still angry over it, I think I am starting to learn my lesson. I actually have opened up to people and admitted that I should have listened. So this is piece one of advice for you. Do not be afraid to open up to people. If, like me, you have a problem opening up for whatever reason, then work on it. It has taken me 20 years, but I think I am finally starting to make a change to how I am. Especially with my mum. I very much doubt whether my mum would agree with the fact I think I have changed, but I do see it in myself in little things. But that is just matter of opinion.

My mum sent me a link to a YouTube video (which you can view here) which issued some extremely good advice. The video itself was taken from an article written in 1997 by Mary Schmich (you can view it here). I think this really offered something that reached out to me - which is again saying something because I am absolutely shit at admitting that I need help. So I am going to base my advice on this article as I don't think I could have given anything better. If this helps me, then I am damn sure it will help you. 

Disclaimer: anything written in italics after this notice is of quote of the author (Mary Schmich) and not of the author of this article. Thus, anything other than this is of opinion of the author. 

The first part of her article says this: 

"“Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. In 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t quite grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine”

"Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly."

This I think applies to a lot of teenage girls, and girls around my age. I think that a lot of girls these days have the mentality that they need to look perfect and airbrushed. I have come to accept the fact that absolutely no one is perfect. I mean NO ONE. You may think all these models are perfect or whatever, but you look behind the Photoshop and the airbrushing and the makeup, and they are just normal people like you and I. My advice to you based on this is not to get caught up in all the media attention on this ideology of "perfection" because that only exists in a fantasy world. Go enjoy a million Nandos, go snack on a fucking doughnut. Who cares?! I would much rather be happy enjoying a meal than eating fucking rabbit food. Would you not? Life is far too short to try and iron out every single imperfection. 

“Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum”

For any of you who has the ultimate joy of knowing me, you will know that this is a very weird piece of advice for me to be giving you. To be honest, this is a hypocritical thing for me to even be saying, but hey ho (in case you're wondering, I am the biggest worrier about the rest of my life). That statement is so accurately true that it is kind of scary. Worrying about things that you don't even know will, or will not, happen is probably the most pointless thing you can do in life. There is no point in worrying about something that is above and beyond your control. I should probably start listening to my own advice, shouldn't I?

"Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours."

This is probably the most valuable piece of advice I took from this entire thing. Having recently had my heart completely fucked about with, it really hit me. I wish I had been given this advice sooner. It would have saved me a lot of pain and heartbreak, I tell you that. Now, ladies, listen to this advice. No matter how much you may think someone means to you, or you to them, as soon as they fuck up once, get out. I do not mean this in a harsh way at all, but once something is broken it cannot be fixed. You may think you can stitch everything back together, but after a while cracks begin to show. If someone is fucking you about then they don't care about you as much as they say. Remember: you can't teach an old dog new tricks.

"Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone."

Just so everything isn't so fucking heavy. Drink milk. Lots of it.

"Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future."

If you take away anything from this amazingly long ramble, then take away this. Your parents are not going to be there forever. Seriously make the most of them whilst they're there. I have friends who no longer have both parents, and it really makes you think. I know when you're a teenager you say you "hate" your parents and that you wish your friends parents were yours, bla bla bla. I am just coming out of that phase now and I am starting to see what a fucking idiot I used to be. I never treated my parents the way they deserved to be, especially my mum, and that is something I will regret until the day I die. However, I can now begin to make amends. If you are a reading this thinking it is all a load of shit, then I bet that you're a teenager. Take it from me, I was the world's worst teenager, and I am telling you. You definitely appreciate them more when you move out and have to be independent. So listen.

"Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young."

This is something I wholeheartedly stand by, and I will for a very long time. Out of everyone who I have been friends with throughout secondary school, I have had one friend who has been there for almost 20 years now (hi, Laura, if you read this) and I probably owe a lot to her. But then you have the friends who you might not have known for many years, such as my university friends, who you feel like you've known a lifetime. Then you also have the school friends who stick by you no matter what, too. I am lucky enough to have a few extremely close friends, you know who you are, which has been proved to me recently. But just always make the effort with people. 

"Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it."

This is the advice I am going to leave you with - advice on advice. Not many people these days are willing to give out advice, so seriously listen when people take the time to do so. At the time it may seem like they're just being a pain in the ass, or they have taken a particular dislike to someone, but 99% of the time they're going to be right. They only have your best interests at heart, you know.

As always, thank you for reading and I will speak to you next time!

Toodle-oo!

Also want to do a quick special mention to the people who have put up with my tears and tantrums over the last few days: Vikki, Josh, James, Daisy and Milky who have been the main people the last few days and have even managed to cheer me up. Also to my mum who has put up with me for 20 years and not killed me yet. So much love for them. So this post is dedicated to you guys. 

Bloglovin' - Twitter - Tumblr - YouTube - Google+ - Instagram

Things I'd tell my teenage self

Hello there, buddies.

Today I thought I would share with you my little nuggets of wisdom that I would tell my teenage self if I could ever go back in time. It has been a stressful day as I have only just got my internet back after 24 hours that it has been down!

I have to say, some of these may not apply to you, and some of them may only apply to my female readers. However, I will be tagging +James Martin  (BlogGod) to do this also for you male readers out there.

I am going to include all sorts of things in this from relationships all the way to money and friends, so you can see that this is going to be a looooong post. This is also going to be a more serious post in comparison to my normal ones so I hope you enjoy it, and I would love to hear about the things that you would tell your teenage self, so comment below in the comments box or tweet me @LovelyChubly with #NuggetsOfWisdom.

Without further ado, here we go!

Ok then, well the first thing involves money. I would tell my teenage self to not buy all that useless shit that you will never ever use, and save it towards something more productive. I had a bit of a habit when I was a teenager of spending money. As soon as I got a job when I was 16 I was all like “ooh my own money…I can do what I want and spend it all”. Erm no, teenage Danielle. That will come back to bite you on the ass. Which it did. I went to a lot of gigs and had loads of ridiculously expensive days out etc. and splashed out on meals out, cocktail nights, the works. As much fun as this was, it didn't leave me much money for things that I probably could have done with more than a simple day out. This I think it my biggest regret as it meant that I couldn't go on holiday when school finished, and I couldn't pay for all my car insurance which really sucked. It also meant that I am now screwed for my second year at uni because I didn't save all those years ago.

ADVICE: think carefully before you spend your money. Think: do I really need this? One day you may thank yourself for it.

The second thing revolves around friends and whatnot. I would tell my teenage self to be way more wary about who you befriend as it turned out I have had several “fake friends” over the last 7 years or so. But on the other hand, I would also say to stick close friends with certain people as I have got a few people that I am like “I wonder what they’re doing now?” Although I do speak to them every now and again, it isn't as often as I would like. I would also say to watch my own back rather than completely look after other people as that obviously didn't get me very far. Secondary school was quite a difficult time for me as a teenager; I was in and out of friendship groups and had issues with a few people which actually ended in my moving schools at the end of year 11 as I really just started to hate school. This ended up in me getting quite ill and whatnot so I would say to watch out for that as I would have avoided a lot of shit by being more attentive to what people are saying. Finally, I’d tell my teenage self to not give a shit about what people say. I was very much a “people pleaser” and hardly concentrated on myself. I have now changed my ways and am 100% happier because of it.
ADVICE: stay true to yourself, don’t listen to shit other people spread, and always have a close-knit group of friends – less is definitely more.

Now we approach relationships. I was in a relationship from when I was 15 until I was almost 18 (I think: it was a very long time ago now) and even until this day, I would say it is the best one I have been in (if you are reading this, don’t get too much of an ego boost!). I would say to my teenage self this one thing: DON’T BE A FUCKING IDIOT. I think that speaks for itself. After that I was in a relationship with one guy for about a year (this will be interesting if he does read this, which he probably won’t) but I changed myself for that as I felt that I wasn't enough. My teenage self was still an idiot there and I would say to never change for anyone because it is never worth it. Relationships as a teenager are difficult things to both keep and maintain as there are so many different things going on, so I hope you do take note from me!
ADVICE: don’t change for anyone, but also realise what you have got when you have it.

Now comes an interesting topic: family. This involves many aspects of family, so seat yourself comfortably. First of all, I would tell my teenage self to man up regarding hospitals and shit like that. My Nan was in and out of hospital for pretty much all of my memories that I have of her. Now if you know me you will know that I have a strong phobia of hospitals. This phobia really held me back from seeing her quite a lot (temporarily pausing due to tears: see I have a heart) and I have to say this is my biggest regret in my life. I do not have many memories of my Nan whatsoever, so I regret not having these memories for me to look back on now that she is no longer with us. Another aspect regards mums (my mum is going to get ever so smug if she reads this). I don’t have a majorly strong relationship with my mum as we have always seemed to clash. So I would tell my teenage self to swallow your pride and say sorry to all the things that you did wrong, of which there were many. Now that I am at uni, we do get on a bit better, but there are still clashes here. Unfortunately I think the damage is done if we are going by the psychological side of things, but you know.
ADVICE: don’t be put off by certain things that might prevent you from seeing your family as you will regret them when you can no longer do anything about it. Also don’t be such a horrible daughter/son and do what your parents say.

Now we come to appearance. I am not entirely sure why I looked the way I did several times throughout my teenage years. For example, I think EVERYONE goes through that emo/goth stage in their life? If you haven’t, you have still got it to come – enjoy! To my teenage self, I would say no. Just no. Also, I made the mistake of cutting my extremely long hair into a bob when I was about 15. I regret this so much as it has still not fully grown to the old length and I am now also 20, and it made it so thicker. So teenage self, don’t cut your hair because it will never be the same. I’d also say to my teenage self to not dye your hair as much as it will go all annoying when you are older!
ADVICE: panda eyes are not cute, never cut your hair short if you are a girl, be careful how much you dye your hair because it might never be the same after.

Now we talk about school – boring I know, but you will miss those days when you get to my age! I would tell my teenage self to not be such an idiot in school and ALWAYS try your hardest. This stems all the way back to primary school also. I got a level 4 in my maths in primary school and was ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED as I had got level 5’s in my English and science (the highest level you can get). I cried so much! Then I would not be so stupid in secondary school as there were times when I just messed about and didn't pay much attention. I would slap my teenage self around the head and be like “pay attention you idiot” until I actually concentrated, because you may think that geography or citizenship is completely pointless but I guarantee you that there will come a day when you need it in your life. Then I would tell my teenage self to swallow your pride (again) and accept that maths tutoring (I still have problems accepting help). To this day I struggle like hell with sometimes the simplest of maths. I get things like algebra and trigonometry but I can never grasp simple things – I don’t think I even know the 12 times tables….Yet I can write so much so easily (as you know).
ADVICE: accept help if you get offered it, pay attention in class and don’t think you are awesome because you don’t. Because you aren't.

Now we move on to those irritating things that are called exams. I did OK in my GCSE’s coming out with 2 A*s, 2 As, 4 Bs, and 3 C’s, and for my A Levels I got 3 B’s and 1 C. Although these are really good results, and I have one A Level more than the average but I am still not happy with them. Especially with my GCSE results as I feel I could definitely have got my A in French to an A* so much easier. Therefore, I would say to my teenage self to study 24 hours a day if you have to, because you will need these results later.
ADVICE: don’t think that things such as GCSE’s are not important because you will need to highest grades you can get later on in life.

Teenagers are known for making stupid decision, but I think I made enough for the whole teenager population who lived before me and who will be born for the next 10 years. I was a terrible teenager and I did SO MANY things that I now regret. I won’t go in to them but I would definitely tell my teenage self to not be such an idiot and not get your house trashed. Yep.
ADVICE: if your parents tell you not to do something, or that it isn't a good idea, then don’t do the opposite and do it.

As a teenager I turned down several opportunities that I really regret now. For example, I was asked if I wanted to visit Australia with my aunty as there is family over there. For some ridiculous reason I turned it down. Bearing in mind I was like 12 at the time (not quite a teenager) but I do regret turning it down. I also turned down several other things similar to this. So then, teenage self, don’t turn down any holiday or opportunity ever, ever, ever again.
ADVICE: don’t turn down opportunities to go abroad because one day you will want to go to that place, and you won’t be able to.

Now for a few smaller and less deep nuggets of wisdom because I bet you're bored!

1. You are going to make mistakes, things will probably be a little bit shit for a while. But learn from your mistakes because they will make you a better person in the future.
2. DO NOT PICK YOUR SPOTS. They will end up making your skin scar! My skin now is so scarred both from horsefly bites and spots, so don't do it!
3. Enjoy being young whilst you are, because things get serious really quick after school.
4. Do more nice things for other people - they will appreciate it. Even volunteering (which I do now with the Red Cross)
5. Be more self confident!
6. Don't leave all your homework until the last minute and pretend like you have done it.
7. Go out and leave your comfort zone - there are many things out there for you to do!
8. Be brave!
9. Persevere with everything that you do, because it will so be worth it after a while! A little effort goes a long way.
10. Don't panic - everything WILL get better

Well then, folks, those are the things that I would tell my teenage self. I hope that you might take some advice from those - learn from my mistakes!

Don't forget to subscribe to my blog in the top left of the page :) 

Thank you for reading!

Toodle-oo, peeps!

Bloglovin' - Twitter - Tumbr - YouTube - Google+ - Instagram

How to speak Tumblr

Hello there, buddies!

Today I want to do a bit of a "how to..." post because I seem to have been lacking on them recently - sorry about that.

For all of you who don't quite know what Tumblr is, it is a place where people can sign up and have their own blog. Now, it differs to the likes of Blogger and other blogging sites. Tumblr's main audience is set at teenagers who upload and reblog pictures and GIFs (moving images) of things they like.

People who have Tumblr have created essentially their own little language which can be extremely confusing to people who don't actually have Tumblr. Yes, I am a typical Tumblr user to be honest. I use it to reblog things I am interested in, but I also use it to add my blog posts to it. I do also use this Tumblr slang a lot, and it is starting to slip in to my normal every day conversation (sorry, Dad).

So without further ado, here is a list of words and phrases I think are essential to know when you are a first timer Tumblr user.


1. "Feels"
This is not "feels" in the conventional sense, before you think that I am a mad person for posting a normal word. On Tumblr feels literally mean emotions. A lot of people will say "right in the feels" which basically means "holy shit" for all your non-Tumblr folk. Or can be "too many feels" where they are literally dying from feeling overload after seeing something on the Tumblr-sphere. 

2. Shipping
No, I am not talking about a form of parcel delivery. Shipping is where you basically put two people together who you think would be awesome in a relationship. Hence shipping (also known as ship) which is short for relationship - Tumblr people are smart like that. It can be seen all over Tumblr as "I ship (person one name) and (person two name)". For example: I ship Alfie and Zoe (YouTubers). This usually generates a nickname (think Brangelina). For my ship, the nickname is Zalfie - CUTE. This is so Tumblr it is unreal.

3. "I can't"
When you see someone saying "I can't" (usually seen as "OMG I can't....) this is where they get so overloaded by feels that they literally cannot comprehend anything. No joke. It's just another way of saying "too many feels" I guess. But Tumblr users often seem like their sentences end mid way through as it can literally seem like this: "That episode of Doctor Who the other day... OMG I can't". Seem fragmented to you? Not to me! 

4. Fandom
To put it plain and simple, a fandom is a group of people who share the interest in the same things and become hopelessly and completely obsessed with it. This is not an exaggeration! There are fandoms for so many things in popular culture such as Doctor Who, bands, YouTube, Harry Potter, Game of Thrones, Anime, anything you name I bet you could find a fandom for. There are thousands of members in each fandom who post images of their subject of fandom for other member to see. It's is all quite nice really! For example, I am a member of the Disney fandom, Phan fandom (a mix of Amazingphil and Danisnotonfire), Harry Potter fandom, YouTube fandom and the Studio Ghibli fandom. Yes, I like a lot of shit, I know.

5. Fanfiction/fanfic/fic
Not just a random jumble of letters. Fanfiction (also referred to as fanfic or fic) is a story written by a member of a fandom about the subject of the fandom. A lot of these are actually amazingly cool and so well written. If you have not read a fanfic before then you might be in for a little bit of a shock...fanfic isn't usually for innocent eyes. Think 50 Shades of Grey with the subject of your fandom in it.....yeah, it gets a bit mental sometimes. For example: I have recent read (and been mentally scarred by) some of the fanfic's for Phan.....They were so good but shocked me yet I couldn't stop reading. I won't post them directly on to here as there may be innocent eyes, but feel free to do some Googling (DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY MENTAL SCARRING YOU MAY BE VICTIM OF AFTER READING A FANFICTION)

6. GIF
You may have come across GIFs before on the old internet, but they are a massive thing on Tumblr. GIFs are essentially moving images usually of scenes from things from TV or YouTube, or can be a series of images of a person in a fandom. Nerd fact: GIF stands for graphic interchange format. They are all over Tumblr! 

7. ajkdjisjfsdkf
You will see this a lot over Tumblr, and it isn't someone who has fallen asleep on their keyboard. This is usually used when there are no words someone can use for something they have seen. For example: I recently used this after seeing a GIF of Danisnotonfire on Tumblr where he was biting his lip. I had the typical reaction of "OMG" but that was not enough to express the feels there. It can also be used when there are just too many feels.

8. Fangirl/fangirling 
A fangirl is a person who is such an ultimate fan of the subject of the fandom that they are ever so slightly obsessed with it. There are loads of them in the Phan fandom (might rename it Phandom from now on....) who just go absolutely nuts over seeing something about Dan or Phil on Tumblr. The word fangirling is basically the process of going nuts over something. For example: I fangirled over the image of Dan that I saw. Pretty simple really, and people can do this over absolutely anything - even chocolate. 

9. Forever reblog
Forever reblog is something that people say when they see something they like on Tumblr and they just reblog it every single time they see it pop up on their dashboard (Tumblr homepage). This can be because they fangirl over it, or because something is so funny. There is a GIF of something that I will forever reblog because it literally has me in fits of giggles for hours every time I see it. 

10. Dafuq
Say it out loud. There is your answer. Dafuq is another way of saying "WTF" without technically saying it. It is another one of those Tumblrisms that can be used in so many ways. For example: it can be used in sarcasm, when something is ridiculous, when you are annoyed at someone, when you find something confusing, or when something is just plain mad. This is so common on Tumblr that everyone is dafuqing all over the place!

11. I'm dying
Panic not when you hear a Tumblr user saying they are dying. They are not physically dying! They could be emotionally dying....or dying with laughter (metaphorical laughter of course). I'm dying is (typically) related to fangirling over something, or when there is a ridiculously hilarious GIF pop up on your dashboard. This is not to be confused with "I'm crying" which is used in a similar manner!

12. OTP (one true pairing)
This pairs (see what I did there) with the whole shipping thing. This is when you basically find a couple who are literally so perfect for each other that they should just never be with anyone else in the entire world for the rest of their lives. Sound dramatic to you? Well you are clearly not a Tumblr user!


I shit you not, I have used these words and phrases in general conversation with family and friends who look at me like I am a crazy person (maybe I am?). 

Well that is my list of essential Tumblrisms that you really need to know before clicking on www.tumblr.com and signing up, otherwise you will look like you came from Mars. Just don't forget, saying these to random people in the street or people who don't have Tumblr might get you some weird looks and that person may never talk to you again.

If you enjoyed this post don't forget to subscribe to my blog by clicking "join this site" on the top left, and follow me on the right.

If you think I missed anything out, or have one that you might think I haven't heard then please do comment below!

Toodle-oo, peeps!

Bloglovin' - Twitter - Tumblr - YouTube - Google+ - Instagram