Saturday, March 29, 2014

Incurable case of the block | meaningless ramble

Today is just one of those days. I don't want to move, I don't want to get out of bed, and I definitely don't want to face the world.

Why?, you ask. Well, that is an answer I can only imagine to answer, and that way it shall remain.

It feels like an extremely long time since I have just jotted my thoughts on to paper and just let everything flow through my pen. Since my favourite pen has since decided it had taken its last breath, and my paper being a good 6 foot away from the end of my bed, I have decided to take to this little space to just chat. 

This blog was originally created as a little place for me to just rant, ramble, and use essentially as a space to keep myself sane. It just so happens that a lot of people tend to feel the same ways I do at times, and you have all taken to joining me on this little journey through life. Something I will always be so thankful for, despite the shock that it actually became popular.

So, considering today seems like it is going to be a bed day I think there is no better time than to do a general life update, and all those little shitty things I seem to not write about anymore.

So, where to begin?

Ermmm....well, I managed to hand in 3 essays over the last two days which is a pretty good achievement. Considering I am the queen of procrastination, and have been extremely distracted with thoughts of home at the moment, managing to actually complete those essays made me feel so good. 

I have also made some really good friends over the last two weeks, and stepped away from a fair amount of people who had begun to make me feel considerably shite about myself and my life. This is somewhat of a big achievement for me; shockingly making new friends and taking myself out of my comfort zone brings me serious anxiety - something I have actually never told anyone before, so why I am telling the entirety of the internet I shall never quite understand. 

I spent all of yesterday curled in bed watching videos from Playlist Live and getting increasingly jealous of everyone being in Florida. Since, I have decided I need to go back to Disney before I explode because I miss it beyond words. 

I've also started to work properly on the book I have been writing - although I am not sure that it will ever go anywhere because I'm not exactly JK Rowling! SPOILER ALERT: I have decided to create a story of a teenage girl going through depression and the life events she faces in a 4 year period. Would love to know if any of you would actually read it - it just seems to be something that is never written about in literature these days. 

The university year is quickly coming to an end, so hopefully over summer I can give you considerably better content than what I have done recently!

In the comments below, I'd like to know any areas you want me to write about or posts you want me to do, because this writer's block is driving me mad!

Hopefully in the next few weeks this block will crumble and I can get back to my usual posts - I think writing 8, 000 odd words for my course has taken its toll.

Don't forget to comment and subscribe, and follow me on all my social media bla bla bla!

Will speak to you next time, toodles!

Thursday, March 20, 2014

Top 5: things to do by 2015

Recently, in between my many breakdowns, I have been having one of those reflective thoughts about life. I had a sudden realisation of "oh shit, it's already March", and I realised I have done essentially nout in the last 3 months of 2014.

I thought it would be a good idea to give myself a good kick up the ass and have 5 goals to complete by the time 2015 rolls around, which at the moment seems like it will be in seconds. My logic is that because it is documented, and you have all seen it, that you can all help make sure I actually do these things rather than just sit around and do bugger all. 

I've decided that none of these will include my university work because that is something that I actually have to do whether I like it or not. 

1. Write at least half of my book
Although this is something I have been keeping quiet, I have been working on writing a book for around a month now. It's taking me a fair amount of time to write it because of all my deadlines and other commitments that I have, but I am getting there slowly. I am not going to give you any spoilers because I'm a pain in the ass like that. Hopefully if all goes well I can show you some of it soon!

2. Go on holiday with my friends
I am not talking some huge-scale jaunt off to the Caribbean or anything, but a week or two away with my little group of buddies would go down a treat - I think we all deserve a break. Hopefully this is actually going to happen in June as we have been looking at places to go, so fingers crossed!

3. Lose some weight
Now I don't need to lose any weight as a rule, but I would like to just tone myself up a tiny but just for myself. This isn't to please anyone else, or even to attract guys or whatever, this is literally just because I want to feel a lot better in my own skin. Hopefully that will start over Easter and continue then for however long it takes.

4. Raise money for Cancer Research
You may or may not know that my mum was recently diagnosed with cancer. This news came just a few days after a close family friend died of the same disease, and we have had several family members and friends die because of cancer. A few years ago I ran the Race For Life in my hometown of Swindon, and hope that I can do something like this again.

I have come to the conclusion that single life sucks dick, and I am feeling a bit lonely. I have not had the best luck with men in the past, and it would seem that I have literally given up hope. So it would be nice to have a nice guy in my life in some way shape or form, but who knows?

So those are my goals for 2014, and I am actually going to work at achieving them considering they are now documented on the internet for the whole world to see....if that isn't going to act as motivation then I don't know what will.

What goals have you set yourself for 2014?

As always, thank you for reading! Don't forget to follow me on all my social media over on the right, and stay tuned on Lovelychubly for more posts coming soon!

Friday, March 14, 2014

Tiny Talk - episode four: 'no' means NO - consent

So this week I want to talk about consent and how saying "no" means no, but also talk about indirect consent etc. This seems to be a pressing issue at the moment after some attention on Twitter and YouTube surrounding some YouTubers. It seems this is a pressing issue, and is a serious area for concern. 

I expect many of you think of rape when people talk about consent, but in my eyes this can also include sexual manipulation or anything involving alcohol/drugs etc. I am lucky enough that I have never been in this situation, but I do know people who have, and have had to deal with emotional stress ever since. 

Something that is often overlooked is that women can manipulate men in to having sex with them too. There is a clear main focus on the fact that men are the ones who are always doing the manipulation etc. but I find that I know a lot more females who have done this than I do males. Although of course that is just people who I know. For example, the issue on how big of a factor alcohol plays in a situation like this can be serious disputed. In a university/college setting it is no secret that there is an extremely high alcohol consumption rate, and people very often have 'one night stands' - this is just simple common knowledge - but where should the line be drawn? 

There is also the issue of emotional or psychological blackmail and manipulation. Someone, be it male or female, may blackmail the other in to something by saying that they might do something to them if they don't have sex with them. I think this is also overlooked as many people seem to think that in a relationship, you are obliged to have sex with the person. This is not the case whatsoever. The other person may feel like their actions are justified and that they feel they are in the right, but if you feel like you're being forced in to something then don't do it.

Also, if a woman, or even a man, is dressed provocatively it does not mean that they are asked for sex or even to be raped. How someone dresses is up to them and does not then invite another person for sex just by that. This is something that infuriates me in this debate and is often something that is posed by narrow minded people. A persons dress sense does not dictate this whatsoever, and I find the point posed about this being an open invitation as completely devoid of any relevance. 

Although this post is entitled "no" means NO, a lack of consent doesn't have to be that direct. If someone pushes you away, or says they're not sure, don't go through with your actions. They may be doubting what they originally thought was something they wanted which acts as a form of indirect consent. Just because someone doesn't directly say "no", doesn't mean that they want to go through with it.

Well I say you are not obliged to do anything you don't want to do. Don't let someone force you in to doing something, whether it be sexual or otherwise. You are your own person and you have control on what you do with your body, or what you do not do with it. If someone threatens to break up with you, or tell people about you, then just get rid of them. They are absolutely no good to you, and are quite clearly only after one thing. Don't ever be afraid to say no. A healthy relationship doesn't have sex as the focal point - there are many other things that, when combined, form amazing relationships. No one has the right to tell you to do anything - do what only YOU want to do. 

If you are having any issues with anything like this, or you think you know of someone who is, then click here to be put in contact with someone who can help.

Thank you for reading, and stay tuned for episode five of Tiny Talk coming soon.