Sunday, July 21, 2013

Things I'd tell my teenage self

Hello there, buddies.

Today I thought I would share with you my little nuggets of wisdom that I would tell my teenage self if I could ever go back in time. It has been a stressful day as I have only just got my internet back after 24 hours that it has been down!

I have to say, some of these may not apply to you, and some of them may only apply to my female readers. However, I will be tagging +James Martin  (BlogGod) to do this also for you male readers out there.

I am going to include all sorts of things in this from relationships all the way to money and friends, so you can see that this is going to be a looooong post. This is also going to be a more serious post in comparison to my normal ones so I hope you enjoy it, and I would love to hear about the things that you would tell your teenage self, so comment below in the comments box or tweet me @LovelyChubly with #NuggetsOfWisdom.
Without further ado, here we go!

Ok then, well the first thing involves money. I would tell my teenage self to not buy all that useless shit that you will never ever use, and save it towards something more productive. I had a bit of a habit when I was a teenager of spending money. As soon as I got a job when I was 16 I was all like “ooh my own money…I can do what I want and spend it all”. Erm no, teenage Danielle. That will come back to bite you on the ass. Which it did. I went to a lot of gigs and had loads of ridiculously expensive days out etc. and splashed out on meals out, cocktail nights, the works. As much fun as this was, it didn't leave me much money for things that I probably could have done with more than a simple day out. This I think it my biggest regret as it meant that I couldn't go on holiday when school finished, and I couldn't pay for all my car insurance which really sucked. It also meant that I am now screwed for my second year at uni because I didn't save all those years ago.
ADVICE: think carefully before you spend your money. Think: do I really need this? One day you may thank yourself for it.

The second thing revolves around friends and whatnot. I would tell my teenage self to be way more wary about who you befriend as it turned out I have had several “fake friends” over the last 7 years or so. But on the other hand, I would also say to stick close friends with certain people as I have got a few people that I am like “I wonder what they’re doing now?” Although I do speak to them every now and again, it isn't as often as I would like. I would also say to watch my own back rather than completely look after other people as that obviously didn't get me very far. Secondary school was quite a difficult time for me as a teenager; I was in and out of friendship groups and had issues with a few people which actually ended in my moving schools at the end of year 11 as I really just started to hate school. This ended up in me getting quite ill and whatnot so I would say to watch out for that as I would have avoided a lot of shit by being more attentive to what people are saying. Finally, I’d tell my teenage self to not give a shit about what people say. I was very much a “people pleaser” and hardly concentrated on myself. I have now changed my ways and am 100% happier because of it.
ADVICE: stay true to yourself, don’t listen to shit other people spread, and always have a close-knit group of friends – less is definitely more.

Now we approach relationships. I was in a relationship from when I was 15 until I was almost 18 (I think: it was a very long time ago now) and even until this day, I would say it is the best one I have been in (if you are reading this, don’t get too much of an ego boost!). I would say to my teenage self this one thing: DON’T BE A FUCKING IDIOT. I think that speaks for itself. After that I was in a relationship with one guy for about a year (this will be interesting if he does read this, which he probably won’t) but I changed myself for that as I felt that I wasn't enough. My teenage self was still an idiot there and I would say to never change for anyone because it is never worth it. Relationships as a teenager are difficult things to both keep and maintain as there are so many different things going on, so I hope you do take note from me!
ADVICE: don’t change for anyone, but also realise what you have got when you have it.

Now comes an interesting topic: family. This involves many aspects of family, so seat yourself comfortably. First of all, I would tell my teenage self to man up regarding hospitals and shit like that. My Nan was in and out of hospital for pretty much all of my memories that I have of her. Now if you know me you will know that I have a strong phobia of hospitals. This phobia really held me back from seeing her quite a lot (temporarily pausing due to tears: see I have a heart) and I have to say this is my biggest regret in my life. I do not have many memories of my Nan whatsoever, so I regret not having these memories for me to look back on now that she is no longer with us. Another aspect regards mums (my mum is going to get ever so smug if she reads this). I don’t have a majorly strong relationship with my mum as we have always seemed to clash. So I would tell my teenage self to swallow your pride and say sorry to all the things that you did wrong, of which there were many. Now that I am at uni, we do get on a bit better, but there are still clashes here. Unfortunately I think the damage is done if we are going by the psychological side of things, but you know.
ADVICE: don’t be put off by certain things that might prevent you from seeing your family as you will regret them when you can no longer do anything about it. Also don’t be such a horrible daughter/son and do what your parents say.

Now we come to appearance. I am not entirely sure why I looked the way I did several times throughout my teenage years. For example, I think EVERYONE goes through that emo/goth stage in their life? If you haven’t, you have still got it to come – enjoy! To my teenage self, I would say no. Just no. Also, I made the mistake of cutting my extremely long hair into a bob when I was about 15. I regret this so much as it has still not fully grown to the old length and I am now also 20, and it made it so thicker. So teenage self, don’t cut your hair because it will never be the same. I’d also say to my teenage self to not dye your hair as much as it will go all annoying when you are older!
ADVICE: panda eyes are not cute, never cut your hair short if you are a girl, be careful how much you dye your hair because it might never be the same after.

Now we talk about school – boring I know, but you will miss those days when you get to my age! I would tell my teenage self to not be such an idiot in school and ALWAYS try your hardest. This stems all the way back to primary school also. I got a level 4 in my maths in primary school and was ABSOLUTELY DEVASTATED as I had got level 5’s in my English and science (the highest level you can get). I cried so much! Then I would not be so stupid in secondary school as there were times when I just messed about and didn't pay much attention. I would slap my teenage self around the head and be like “pay attention you idiot” until I actually concentrated, because you may think that geography or citizenship is completely pointless but I guarantee you that there will come a day when you need it in your life. Then I would tell my teenage self to swallow your pride (again) and accept that maths tutoring (I still have problems accepting help). To this day I struggle like hell with sometimes the simplest of maths. I get things like algebra and trigonometry but I can never grasp simple things – I don’t think I even know the 12 times tables….Yet I can write so much so easily (as you know).
ADVICE: accept help if you get offered it, pay attention in class and don’t think you are awesome because you don’t. Because you aren't.

Now we move on to those irritating things that are called exams. I did OK in my GCSE’s coming out with 2 A*s, 2 As, 4 Bs, and 3 C’s, and for my A Levels I got 3 B’s and 1 C. Although these are really good results, and I have one A Level more than the average but I am still not happy with them. Especially with my GCSE results as I feel I could definitely have got my A in French to an A* so much easier. Therefore, I would say to my teenage self to study 24 hours a day if you have to, because you will need these results later.
ADVICE: don’t think that things such as GCSE’s are not important because you will need to highest grades you can get later on in life.

Teenagers are known for making stupid decision, but I think I made enough for the whole teenager population who lived before me and who will be born for the next 10 years. I was a terrible teenager and I did SO MANY things that I now regret. I won’t go in to them but I would definitely tell my teenage self to not be such an idiot and not get your house trashed. Yep.
ADVICE: if your parents tell you not to do something, or that it isn't a good idea, then don’t do the opposite and do it.

As a teenager I turned down several opportunities that I really regret now. For example, I was asked if I wanted to visit Australia with my aunty as there is family over there. For some ridiculous reason I turned it down. Bearing in mind I was like 12 at the time (not quite a teenager) but I do regret turning it down. I also turned down several other things similar to this. So then, teenage self, don’t turn down any holiday or opportunity ever, ever, ever again.
ADVICE: don’t turn down opportunities to go abroad because one day you will want to go to that place, and you won’t be able to.

Now for a few smaller and less deep nuggets of wisdom because I bet you're bored!

  1. You are going to make mistakes, things will probably be a little bit shit for a while. But learn from your mistakes because they will make you a better person in the future.
  2. DO NOT PICK YOUR SPOTS. They will end up making your skin scar! My skin now is so scarred both from horsefly bites and spots, so don't do it!
  3. Enjoy being young whilst you are, because things get serious really quick after school.
  4. Do more nice things for other people - they will appreciate it. Even volunteering (which I do now with the Red Cross)
  5. Be more self confident!
  6. Don't leave all your homework until the last minute and pretend like you have done it.
  7. Go out and leave your comfort zone - there are many things out there for you to do!
  8. Be brave!
  9. Persevere with everything that you do, because it will so be worth it after a while! A little effort goes a long way.
  10. Don't panic - everything WILL get better

Well then, folks, those are the things that I would tell my teenage self. I hope that you might take some advice from those - learn from my mistakes!

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Thank you for reading!

Toodle-oo, peeps!

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