Thursday, May 29, 2014

Year two roundup and summery update

I have realised that this is my 100th post - yay!

First of all I have to make an apology, and a future apology, for my significant lack of blogging. My hard drive on my laptop corrupted *sniff sniff*, so I am currently in the process of stealing different laptops from my family until I have the money to get a new one. It looks like we may be here for a while as I have decided to get a mac *waves goodbye to money*. I am finding other people's laptops increasingly frustrating to handle because of the weird lack of spacing between keys, so this will be fun.

So what has happened in the last few weeks? Well I have finished my second year of university - finally! It has been a significant amount of ups and downs, some worse than others, but here I am still standing! Exams as per usual were living hell and I was so glad to get a rather large volume of alcohol down my throat at the end of it (and a pretty lush curry and milkshake - interesting combo). I am currently waiting on the results of two exams before I decide how well the year went overall, but now I need to start thinking about next year.

I have the joys of figuring out what I want to write my dissertation on (12,000 words of complete bull most the time). Luckily I have a vague idea of what I want to do, so hopefully that will all come together. I've also got to put together an agenda for events to do throughout the year, so I should probably get on that really...

And I go back to work in two weeks for the remaining duration of the summer, so I wave goodbye to spare time, but hello to a hella lot of money, whoopee! So that means new laptop, money towards my after uni plans, and new clothes! Maybe this calls for a haul post...who knows?....

Tomorrow I am off to Bristol for the day, so I may do a cheeky little post about that considering I get to go to one of my all time favourite places to eat - Za Za Bazaar. If you are ever in the Bristol (or Newcastle area for that fact!) go grab something there, it's sooooo good!

Ok, so what do the next few months mean for Lovelychubly?

I have a great few months lined up for you between now and September. I can promise you that you will get at least one post per week, but mostly two. I am starting a new weekly series with the lovely IsThataRedHerring where we have taken up a fitness challenge as motivation to lose some weight ready for next year. So keep up to date with that via both of our pages, we'll link you to each one so you can see how we are doing. Don't forget to comment with any tips on how to lose weight etc because we're going to need the motivation!

I have also got a Disney tag lined up in the next few weeks thanks to LittleBoots so hopefully that will be up soon.

I am also planning on doing a second part to my 22 fictional deaths I'll never get over. Possibly with a few different posts surrounding that as you lot seem to really enjoy that post! 

Also some suggestions of things that you want to see would be lovely so that I can keep my content up to date! I am thinking of doing some sort of weekly "follow me" style post so you can see what I get up to if I do anything interesting. Unfortunately for me, most of my time will be spent at work so only two days a week will be running around trying to be exciting. So I'll try my best to do cool things!

It's also coming up to my blog's first birthday soon - how time flies, gosh! So I might do some awesome funky post thing. There is a possibility I am going to create a Facebook like page where you can find all my things in one place, so if you like this idea do let me know!

I think that is everything for now. Stay tuned for the next few days to see my first annoying fitness thingy which starts on Monday. So I must wave toodle-oo to all my favourite unhealthy things; wish me luck!

As always thank you for reading, and all my little links are over on the right.

Stay cheery and I shall speak to you next time!

Thursday, May 15, 2014

What makes you happy?

I was having a little think earlier about what sort of things make me happy - procrastination of getting out of bed after my exams has sort of led to this. It seems to be a philosophy or feeling that I can't always seem to completely grasp in all its glory.

At first I was questioning what really defines the word "happy". Maybe it is that fuzzy feeling in your stomach when you see someone you like, maybe it's the endless laughter over a few drinks with friends, or maybe it's the feeling of delving so far into a book that you find it impossible to get out.

No matter what makes you happy, there is no denying that feeling content with life has no comparable feeling. Being able to sit back at the end of the day and just let out a sigh realising things might just be falling into place is no better end to a day.

Obviously this isn't always the case. Something you might be finding hard to deal with may be playing on your mind, there may be a lot of exam stress, or maybe someone in your life is just really getting you down.

It is at times like these where picking up a pen and a piece of paper and making a list of all the things that make you happy can work an absolute treat. Then embrace those things; bring more of them into your life, or even go and find something completely new that makes you happy.

I recently did this as part of an exercise I was recommended a few years ago. I discovered that I had three top things that make me really happy.

1. My friends
2. Writing
3. Seeing my family happy and proud

I have a fantastic set of friends who, no matter how long I have known them, have been there for me from day one. Writing is always a great outlet for any feeling I have, whether it be through here on my blog or through interpreting it into the novel I am writing. Making my family proud has always been my number one priority, even though I was a hellish teenager. So knowing that they are happy and proud of what I am doing can always put a smile on my face.

Figuring out how to balance my not-so-good days out with a helping of happiness was quite difficult at first. There are many things going on which are completely out of my control and I found that I felt helpless a lot of the time. So to balance that out I would pour my feelings into some writing, or go out to see a friend, or even just give my mum a quick call. 

It definitely takes some getting used to; I know how awful a down day can really be. But I have been using this little technique for a while now and even writing things down that make me happy can really have a positive effect.

When times get tough, come back to that list. Go through it and do a little bit of everything; even a little smile from a friend can brighten up any crappy day. 

So I want to know, what sort of things make you happy?

Friday, May 02, 2014

Degree dilemma

As my second year at university is fast coming to an end, it has occurred to me that I really need to start paving out a career path or at least have one in mind as a goal to work towards. So I sat myself down and had a little think about where I wanted to be in life in a few years time. It was at that point where it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I have no idea what I want in life.

I don't know about you, but that seriously freaked me out on so many levels I'm not entirely sure I can portray it all in words. I thrive on the fact I need control and a considerable amount of forward planning in my life; if something is written down on paper it has to be done. This is probably what pushed me towards my little breakdown at approximately midnight tonight - clearly the prime-time for a meltdown as the noise outside my window seemed to echo my thoughts. 

Considering I spent a few years before I ventured to the big mess that is university, and sat down and literally planned out on paper the next few years of my life, I don't think I could have got it more wrong. At that stage of planning it included getting decent A Level grades (done!) and passing my driving test (also done!), and finding my Prince Charming (still pending). And then it came down to the big daunting word of university. My 16 year old self freaked out probably a fraction less than my current 20 year old self is doing now 4 years down the line. What did I want to do at university? What job did I really want in the future? What would get the most pay? What am I really good at?

This is where I wish my 20 year old self could intervene - there is one question that I completely ignored and didn't even think to ask myself:

What do I love doing?

I feel like if I had asked myself that question I wouldn't be sat here at 1:15am freaking out about what I am going to do this time next year when my university career comes to an end. 

My 16 year old self realised I had always been interested in law. Naturally I selected this as one of my A Levels and was pretty happy when I became actually quite good at it, with my teacher saying to be one day that I have "the brain of the lawyer" (although I am not too sure whether that is a good thing or not...). 

The first year of my A Levels dragged but soon it was exam time. I excelled in my law and psychology exams, and did average on my French and English literature exams. It was at this point where I took the drastic decision of changing my mind from dropping French to dropping English literature. This is where my 20 year old self would most likely drop kick my 17 year old self. I continued doing law, French, psychology and also picked up a dissertation style project counting as another A Level. I ended up coming out of sixth form with the grades BBBC. Although these are pretty good grades, and I got more than enough to get into university, I still wasn't happy.

After hours upon hours of trawling through endless websites about degrees I found myself torn between two: LLB Law, and Bsc(Hons) Criminology and Criminal Justice Studies. At first I had my heart set on a law degree which I could then expand on with the graduate training programs and soon be a fully qualified lawyer.

Reality check time.

It wasn't that easy, and I soon discovered that it is almost impossible for that to actually happen. So I moved on from that dream. I realised that 80% of my law A Level focused on criminal law so it seemed only logical do take on a criminology degree. I passed my first year with a high 2:1 after getting two 1st's in my end of year exams and so I continued on to my second year.

That brings me to today - May 2 2014 - and I am only now realising that I am an idiot. Before you say it no, I am not being harsh on myself. I realised that I neglected to ask myself that one question 4 years ago which would have spared me a hell of a lot of anger, tears, and frustration. 

I had thrown away my dream because I thought it would go nowhere.

I had always loved writing; by the age of 10 I had a published poem and I had always been scribbling down little stories on scrap bits of paper. I got my first computer (way back when they were as big as an apartment) which at the time had only Microsoft Word, Paint, and that crappy pinball game on it. I found myself quickly learning to touch-type in order to write multiple stories on my new pride and joy. 

Here I am now, almost 21 years old using my blog as a place to vent to a load of people on the internet who probably don't care about this endless rant about my life and want my old posts back. I started this blog almost a year ago to rant to anyone who would listen to me, but I found that it reignited my love for writing and I am now working on an original novel.

Why am I not perusing this as a career after university? Why do I keep letting my dream float out the window? What can I do to figure all this out?

That is currently my state of mind - a never-ending list of questions rolling around in my mind just waiting for someone to answer them. It seems I am not the one to answer them considering I can't even figure out what I want for breakfast in the morning. So if anyone could actually help that would be great.

I need to figure out what I want in life, and why on earth I chose to do this stupid criminology degree instead of something to do with writing. Maybe I should also figure out why I am such a mong at the same time, or create a revolutionary cure for cancer, or discover that there are actually blue polka-dotted frogs on Pluto. I mean, is it too much to ask to be a somebody? 

As always thank you for reading, and I promise once these dreaded exams are over that I will be publishing more frequently again.

All my social media bits and bobs are over on the right at just the push of a button - don't be lazy like me, click them!

I will speak to you lovelies soon.