Sunday, November 24, 2013

The concept of "beauty"

As a girl I get called every name under the sun because of the way I look; so much so that I am now just expecting a hurl of abuse all the time about it. I know that this is a general thing that tends to happen to females because of the exaggeration in the media of this idealistic representation of beauty, which frankly is beyond inaccurate. But why should we have to endure this? Who is out there drawing up this blueprint of how every female should look, and saying that if they don't look like a certain way then they are instantly inferior and in the firing line of an endless tail of abuse? I would like to find this person and give them a good kick up the ass and a reality check. 

It appears that this concept of beauty stems from magazines and so called 'high fashion'. For example, lets address size zero. First of all, can I reaffirm the fact that in absolutely no way in hell is this either healthy or ideal, unless of course you have an abnormally fast metabolism and there is no way you can help this. Who on earth should go out their way to make themselves look like a lollipop? I know that many young girls are heavily influenced by these models they see in the likes of "Vogue" and all these other trashy things marketed simply to change the mentality of otherwise happy girls. Do these magazines not realise the sheer power they can have over the likes of a 13 year old girl who is trying to fit in with these unbelievably misjudged representations of a woman? They present this screwed up ideology that for some absurd reason looking like a skeleton is 'beautiful'. That is not beautiful in any way. Take for example this picture:

I am not sure who this is, but this is from a Spanish Vogue fashion show, and do you know what the Google image result was for this? "The Modern Cool". I mean, are you actually kidding me? She just looks unhealthy and malnourished and I just want to shove a burger down her throat. I cannot fathom how anyone would be happy like this. I for one have gone through this stage, yes, however I was not heavily influenced by all this size zero bullshit as it sort of occurred a bit after my early teenage years. Do these high fashion things not realise that a lot of young girls aspire to be like the things they idolize, and actually can cause serious long term damage to their bodies because of serious matters like starvation and eating disorders? 

I also have a serious issue with airbrushing. It's like the magazines who post all this shit are just never satisfied. I think the most current example I can think of is with Jennifer Lawrence. Let me show you this image:

I don't know about you, but I would kill to look like her pre-airbrush. She looks a million times more womanly and less little-girl like. If someone can justify to me why airbrushing occurs like this then please do as I genuinely cannot wrap my head around it. It is almost as if they are projecting this false representation of "perfection" that is quite plainly fake as no one can achieve it. Yet the media continues to brainwash society to believe that this is what a woman should look like. What I do not understand is that Jennifer Lawrence has an incredible figure, and is in no way overweight or whatever (another issue I shall address in a second) yet she is still airbrushed. How can the media project this image? Is there someone somewhere along the line who just thinks "fuck it, lets pretend that everyone who comes in here is stick thin and without blemishes"? No, Photoshop does that shit. No one is perfect, whether you believe it or not. Every single being on the planet has flaws, some may be physical and some may not be, but there is no such thing as a flawless person. So why does the media continue to portray that there is?
As I just mentioned weight issues, I will go with that for my next point. Before I launch in to this one, I want to share with you a few images I found on Tumblr surrounding this issue. I haven't credited them because I am not sure of their original source:

"Maybe if I lose some weight someone
will start to care"

"Everyone around me is losing weight and I feel so fat"

"Everything is fine as long as I am getting thinner"

"You don't deserve to eat. You really don't.
Look at you. You're fat. Your bones are being crushed until all this fat. You did this to yourself. Now you have to pay for it. Starve"

"Maybe if I lost weight I'd be able to smile again"

This is fundamental proof that girls are being both brainwashed and dangerously affected by the shit published by these magazines and other forms of media. On Tumblr, when I searched "weight" I would say that a good 70% are posts similar to those I have shown above. How can there be someone out there who is continuously installing this malfunctioning idea into the heads of teenagers and young adults? I am genuinely shocked at some of the things I found on the internet surrounding weight. There is no upper limit or lower limit on how much someone should weight to be classified as "beautiful". It's almost as if someone has gone around and drawn this imaginary suit that everyone has to fit in to be classed as beautiful. I also found this image of what girls tend to class as a 'perfect body':

I find this quite shocking to be perfectly honest. However, I am going to call some home truths about this. The first thing I want to address is the 'narrow waist'. As a female you will get to an age where your natural figure will show, and this generally means your waist will become defined and you will gain what is known as the "hourglass figure" - this is where your waist narrows slightly and your hips widen. That is what I would say is a gorgeous body shape, rather than this stick-insect thing people seem to want. As for collarbones, they tend to be defined in women whether you are slimmer or bigger. Skinny arms...who the hell wants stick arms? What is wrong with a little meat on your bones, seriously? Ah, the thigh gap. Why do young girls obsess over having a thigh gap? It seems to be the be all and end all at the moment. Newflash for you, girls, I have never had a thigh gap in my entire life. Does that make me fat? Does it fuck. The final point I want to address here is the "boobs" section of this. Here is a serious newsflash for you, girls. If you are ridiculously slim through dieting and whatnot, you will not have boobs. It is how nature goes. 

I think the final thing I am going to address here is general image, including the likes of makeup. Looking like you are fresh off the runway seems to be a part of every day life for a lot of young people these days. In recent years there has been a serious increase in the emphasis on fashion, hair, and makeup affecting both males and females. It seems to me that the pressure for anyone to look perfect is at breaking point. I have a younger sister (now 16) who very rarely leaves the house without any makeup on. Where did the acceptance of natural beauty go? I think that a lot of this is down to, shockingly, the media. You always get the pictures of celebrities with no makeup on like ridiculous headlines always focusing on the negative way of how someone looks. It is very rare for there to be a positive comment about how someone looks without makeup on. This seems to get installed in the minds of young people that they will be judged and penalized for leaving the house without looking pristine. The saying that you are your own worst enemy is seriously true. Many young people judge themselves based on what they believe and think others will think - which most the time is not true!

I am going to wrap this up, and stop rambling now. I will definitely make a part two of this article.

I know that this post cannot simply change the world, but I am hoping that it leaves a small part of confidence in any of you who are reading this. Under no circumstances should you change yourself because of something you read, or because someone makes a shitty remark about the way you look. 9 times out of 10 that person is most likely going to be jealous of you in some way. No one is perfect, and you shouldn't strive to be someone that you are not simply to please someone else. You should accept you for the way you are. If you are going through a tough time with people giving you grief because of the way you look then leave me a comment or a tweet, or drop an ask in my tumblr box and I will respond to you personally. I have been through all this shit, and I don't want to watch other people suffer. 

You are worth more than the nasty comments.

Keep your head held high and brush them off - don't doubt yourself because of someone else's insecurities. 

Confidence is key - once you master being happy with yourself you can conquer the world.

Saturday, November 16, 2013

What would you try if you had no fear?

Once again I have become annoyingly and unbelievably philosophical because of a post that I have seen on Tumblr. I will post the original below just to give the owner some credit as this was an image rather than a direct quote. 

This post, as you can probably guess has sent my mind whirring away. I mean, what would I try if I had no fear? What would you try?

First of all I want to discuss the concept of "fear". I mean technically what is fear? Surely the fear of something is only as big as you allow it to be? So technically you could have no fear or something in general without this idea? I think I am thinking way too much in to this.

So what would I do if I had no fear? Initially I thought about an absolute ton of things that I would want to try, and then I began to think a lot more in to it. So I think I am going to split this in to several sections. Not quite sure how yet, so lets see how this plans out. 


If I had no fear I think the first set of choices I would make and things that I would do would relate around my career choices. As you might know if you have read some of my previous posts about having a crisis (which you can read here) then you will know that I am absolutely terrified of the next few years of my life. So that is why I would be tackling this first.

First of all I think I would actually go for the career of my dreams - which would probably be a writer. For some reason I have a crippling fear of even considering this at the moment and I don't know why. I think it's because it has nothing to do with my degree and I just feel that it would be such a difficult career to pursue because of the major setbacks regarding freelance writing etc. Having said that, there are like almost no jobs in the criminal justice system at the moment so I guess that either way I am not going to lose anything.

As much as I love studying criminology, I think if I could try something without being scared of it I would choose to do another degree. I'd love to do a degree in journalism or creative writing or something similar. I think that this is just where my main interest is and I would enjoy it all the time. I do love studying criminology, don't get me wrong, but I am not passionate about it whatsoever. Then again I have said that I don't have a passion in a previous post (which you can read here). I know criminology has opened up some pretty good opportunities for me, including my current work placement with Storybook Dads which I will be writing about soon, but I don't think I want to work in that sector anymore. So definitely doing another degree, or even a postgrad course - money would have to be no object of course!

On a similar note, I would do something about my blog. I am quite scared of altering it in any major way in case it messes up and I couldn't get it back. So I would definitely get over my fear and purchase my domain name and become a proper blogging website. I know a while back I said I would do this if I got over 10, 000 viewers, and I am now nearing 11, 000...but I am terrified of doing it! I literally do not know why. I am just shitting myself about changing it. I also think I would need to employ the help of a web designer to make it all funky and whatnot, but I don't have the money to do that unfortunately. 


This would be another area I would definitely do something about if I had no fear. For example, I would tell a certain someone exactly how I feel about them. Which sounds stupid because as a rule I would generally just go up to someone if I like them and let them know.

I'd also get the balls to ask Tom Daley on a date! The majority of you are probably now sitting there looking at the screen with a "what the fuck" look on your face because he's all famous and whatnot. He does live near me as I live in Plymouth, and I see him out and about all the time, so he's not a stranger to my life. I speak to him on nights out etc, and I even got a kiss off him (see picture below) so you know...totally in there.

Moving slightly on from that, I think I am quite scared of trying a different type of guy. I have a tendency to go for the same sort of looking guy which usually ends badly, as the recent one has. So I think for once in my life I need to go for a nice guy. 

I am currently at a crossroads in my life where I have just spent the last few months feeling like crap after being treated like complete and utter shit. I did write a massive post about this which ended up being about 2, 500 words but I don't know whether to edit it and publish it or just to leave it sitting on my laptop. Thoughts? So in relation to this, I think I need to stop being so scared of people and scared of putting myself first. It's safe to say I was in complete denial about how someone felt about me which lead to me basically spending the last couple of months in and out of something that has made me feel both worthless and humiliated. So yeah. So I would stop being so scared about putting myself first.

Life choices

Well I have a feeling that this is going to be a very long section. There are so many life choices that I am far too scared to even think about let alone completely contemplate to the point of a major decision. Having said that, I made a few decisions in the last few days (finally) after about a year of wanting to do them. 

I will tell you about the decisions I have made recently after bloody ages of thinking about them. The first regards my plans straight after university. As you may or may not know, I am a major Disney fan, and it has always been my dream to work in Walt Disney World and I finally got the balls to properly look in to it a few weeks ago. I found out that they offer graduate places for a year long placement with them working in different areas of the park. So do you know what? I said fuck it to everything and decided to apply. Obviously I can't apply until next year but I am going to either way! So hopefully I will get accepted in to that. I have also decided to finally start saving to make the big move over to Australia! I know this will take me a long bloody time but it is definitely something that I would love to do and have thought about for a few years now so it's like fuck it, lets do it.

Now, if I had no fear what life choices would I make? Hmmmm, this is a difficult one I think. As a rule I tend to make my life decisions with or without fear. Although I think I would be a bit more bold in my choices.

I think I would try to take on more things. Not in the form of work or anything, but I wouldn't say "no" to certain things. An example of this was about 10 years ago I got the chance to go to Australia and I turned it down because I was scared to go without my parents. Basically I am an idiot.


This is a bit of a difficult one because I am such an adrenaline junkie and I will do anything to try and scare myself, whether that be watching a scary film or jumping out a plane. So instead I think I will just tell you about the things I want to, and plan to, do!

First of all I want to go skydiving! I don't know why, and I don't know when, but I am going to do it! I have always been curious about what it feels like to jump out a plane just strapped to someone else...the mind boggles.

I also want to go cage diving with great white sharks - something that has been offered to me in Australia when I go! My mind literally went "dksjfklsdgknd" when I found out that I could do this. I mean how awesome would that be? I am soooo excited. My mum won't like it though...

In slight relation to skydiving, I also want to do bungee jumping. Ideally off the Grand Canyon - how freaking awesome would that be?!

On a slightly less adrenaline filled activity is diving/scuba diving in the Great Barrier Reef. I'm glad that I can say that i am going to tick this off my list in a few years. I have seen so many pictures of friends who have done it and I am so excited!


In a more general turn of events, I would definitely do something slightly more adventurous with myself I think. Maybe actually follow fashion?! If you ever see me, you will know that I have absolutely zero fashion sense and my mentality is that if it fits then it's fine. Maybe I should conquer this anyway?

I think if I had no fear I would also try to write a full on novel. It's something I have always wanted to do, and have actually begun planning one several times just to get frustrated with its lack of direction and throw it in the bin. At the moment I am considering doing some fictional writing on top of my blog just to see what direction it takes. Maybe publish it chapter by chapter.

But mainly if I had no fear I would pack everything up, chuck it in a backpack and set off to explore the world and just see where I am going. I take major inspiration from several YouTubers (FunForLouis, JacksGap, and Watchbbbtv) who turn these dreams in to actions. I would love the opportunity to do even half the things they do. JacksGap and Watchbbbtv actually did a collaboration (which you can view here and the JacksGap video here) with some amazing footage from Dubai. So as you can imagine I am extremely jealous of this. If anyone wants to take me around the world and let me blog about it that would be fantastic.

Maybe that's what I should do? I should travel the world and blog about all the things I do. Take a leaf from the Big Bad Bucketlist and do some of these things myself? Tempting....I could start off in Plymouth and just go from there...Thoughts?

To finish on a slightly logical note, I don't think life could exist without fear. As much as it may seem nice for someone to think that having no fear would mean that they could do anything, fear tends to motivate people and define people's limits on things. So without fear how would we know our limits? How would we get the motivation to tackle certain tasks? Surely life would be very slightly boring without fear. Fear provides adrenaline and although we could take part in adrenaline fueled tasks, we would not get that natural sense of it.

So I ask you guys: what would you do if you had no fear? Comment below with your answers.

As always thank you for reading. If you liked this post then be sure to become a member by clicking "Join This Site" to be told when I write more!