Hello there, buddies!
Ok today I am going to talk about things that you should just completely avoid doing when you go out. We are talking like 'out out here, not just 'out'. That will make sense to come people....if you understand that then high five!!
So I have managed to compile a list of about 12 things you should just not do. If you do these.....you need help. Having said that, a few of these are talking from experience.
This one is talking from experience because it happens to be every single time. Don't play ring of fire if you know everyone has previously made a pact to get you absolutely hammered. There have been several nights out that I don't remember thanks to certain people (Vikki) making a pact with everyone else to get me extremely drunk. If you know your friends are going to do this then you are absolutely screwed :) There is literally nothing you can do but enjoy getting drunk.
The second thing is don't text people. Full stop. Not going to lie, this should be common sense, but when you've chucked a few vodka's down your throat you tend to have wavering common sense, so I'll let you off. Having said this, a simple "where are you" is ok, but it does tend to come out as "ekdjfn dkk skjkdjfd" even as an iPhone user mine still end up like this, and I have auto correct! Life can get awkward with drunken texts. If you take one thing from this...no drunk ex texts. Ever. In fact, just don't take your phone out.
Don't wear 3D glasses in a club full of normal people. Ever. You'll just get weird stares. Yes, I did this. Don't ask.
Do not, under any circumstances, take the standard "I am drunk and I don't give a shit about what I look like" picture. Because you will care when you get tagged in very unflattering pictures om Facebook the next morning. Believe me.
Don't go for a walk in the rain. It's cold, and it's wet. And you will get ill.
No duck faces. Ever. Even if you are doing them ironically (Vikki). Unless you are a duck, then that shit is ok.
Don't go out in underwear. You know what I am talking about here. If you don't, you live in a normal place. Congrats.
Never ever pretend you are drunk. You ain't fooling anyone, dude. Even all your drunk friends know you are faking. You just look daft and it is annoying. So don't. Have a few shots.
Don't be an absolute dickhead at the bar because I will plough you out the way. If you don't know what sort of person I am talking about then you are this person. I am short, but hell I will move you out the way if you are being an asshole. Just let me through if you aren't getting a drink, you are just creating clutter. Thanks.
The use of shitty cheesy chat up lines is still a definite no no. You aren't going to get laid that way, buddy.
Do not think you can dance. Alcohol can dance. You cannot.
Under no circumstances EVER should you OFFER to be the designated driver. Ever. Are you an idiot?!
Okies, so that was my 12 (I think) things that you should just completely avoid doing when you go out. This applies mainly to clubbing, but a few apply to pub nights out, or cocktail nights out, etc. So please take my advice; I have your best interests at heart!
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Okies, that's all for now!