Monday, July 02, 2018

To The Girl I Used To Be

Why, haven't you changed. 

Are you shorter? No, of course not. You are skinnier. I am jealous. I would like to lose some weight right now. But it will happen when I want it to and that's OK.

So, things aren't too great right now. But, you are a lot stronger now than what you were. You have been through a lot and that probably won't change. You are thankful for the lessons you learned and the mistakes you made. 

You will most definitely not stop being ambitious. You did always want to do the next thing. Well, that hasn't stopped. I think it has actually gotten worse. You still want to walk before you can crawl. It's a good trait. It will get you places. 

Your self confidence has been knocked a bit. Based on previous experience of you now, that will come back. You are a tough cookie. 

You can't always be perfect. You are far from perfect. But you will learn to love the things you hate now. 

Let it out. Don't keep things in. Remember how you are right now? Not talking about things, acting strong, pretending you don't need help? Ask for help. It is going to take something big, like things have now, but you don't have to do everything alone. It's alright to say you are struggling. You will always struggle with something; whether that be your mental health, your confidence, your lifestyle balance. Just say.

Don't worry so much about what other people think of you. You can't make everyone love you, not matter how hard you try. You won't get on with everyone and that is OK. You will fall out with people, they will fall out with you. There are always going to be reasons for that. Accept them. Move on.

It's OK to be different. In any way. You go ahead and wear those Mickey Mouse shoes. Don't let anyone, especially a man, tell you that you can't.

Keep pushing and don't give up. I can tell you that giving up will get you nowhere. Whether that is in your work, school, university, friendships or relationships. You keep pushing for what you want. It will be worth it. 

You are not fat. Sure, you are a little chubby and probably overweight., but don't examine yourself in a mirror every five minutes. Don't cry silently in the changing room when a "normal" size doesn't fit you. It is just a number. 

You will make yourself proud. You will make your family proud. 

Forgive, but don't forget. Don't hold on to that grudge, it isn't worth it. Be Elsa and let it go. But don't forget that someone hurt you. You will value that later on. 

Finally, for the love of god, have fun! You will never be this young again, you will never have this much financial freedom, lack of responsibility or opportunity. Embrace it. Have a laugh. Do stupid things, you have time later on to be serious about everything. Enjoy your life whilst you have it because life is short. You have no idea when it might be taken away. 

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