Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Reasons why summer sucks

Everyone always seems to rave about how "awesome" summer is, and how they "can't wait for it to get here" because it's the "best season of the year". Frankly, I think that's just completely mental. How anyone can look forward to the summer is completely beyond me. Now, before you blast me with a million reasons why I am completely wrong, let me tell you that I have plenty of reasons to hate summer, and that I'm not being a summer Grinch. So this is my reasoning as to why summer simply sucks. 




Butterflies
Those horrible, winged balls of death have to be the worst thing about summer. They just fly around like they own the place, and then seem to take pleasure in dive-bombing my face. That is just not cool. Thank god they seem to go extinct in the winter months.

School holidays
Everything gets overrun by screaming, hyperactive kids. Not to mention teenagers who are too cool for basic manners. Don't get me wrong, we've all been there, but the older I've gotten, the more I find them infuriating. Summer means they're just everywhere.

Wasps
Me and wasps have an awful track record; they sting me, I end up swallowing them, they lead to injuries, bla, bla, bla. Bees are fine because those little things just want to get on with their lives, but wasps are evil little shits. 

Sleepless, stuffy nights
Summer always means that my room transforms immediately from an igloo to a sauna. I need a fan on continuously to prevent my room from melting in to a lump of material. It also means it's pretty damn impossible to sleep, and I like my sleep.

Hay fever
Anyone who doesn't suffer from hay fever will just never understand why we kick up such a fuss. Itchy, red, streaming eyes, persistent coughs, runny noses, and continually sneezing are all signs that you're approaching hell. If you don't suffer from hay fever then you should feel lucky!

Light mornings
On your day off, the bright light pouring through the curtains bang on 5am is so freaking annoying. At least during winter the sun finds some manners and doesn't appear until around 7.30!

Sticky heat
There's just no break from any sort of heat. If it's abroad then chuck all the heat my way, but UK summer heat is just honestly the worst.

Everything moves outside
As someone who doesn't particularly like the outside, summer is particularly annoying as absolutely everything suddenly becomes an outdoor activity. I am perfectly happy indoors where pollen cannot attack my eyes, and panes of glass separate butterflies from my personal bubble.

People going on holiday
Whilst some of us are in dire need of money and spend every day working to get it, others are off gallivanting on fancy holidays. Just to make matters worse, all their holiday photos get plastered all over social media websites, and I get instantly jealous.

Long days
Although some people find this great, when you're trying to sleep because you have work at 9am, and the sun is yet again pouring through the curtains it kind of sucks. In winter it gets dark at a more acceptable time of 3pm, so when you need to sleep it's possible.

Beds become too hot
I have that weird need to have to be completely covered by my duvet at night - it freaks me out that any part of me would be completely exposed to the scary night monsters. Summer is the worst time for this; I end up facing a huge nightly dilemma. Do I risk being eaten by crazy monsters, or boil to death under my duvet? I still can't decide.

Constant sweat
Everything gets completely uncomfortable; the smallest activity causes your body to imitate Niagara Falls, and everything needs to be peeled off. Yuck.

Melting makeup
Summer just makes me begin to resemble a waxwork left out in the sun. I mean, how exactly am I meant to be appealing to guys looking like that?

Thigh chafing
This is both a product of my not-exactly-thin frame, and summer. But it doesn't happen in the autumn/winter time, so clearly it's all summer's fault.

Bikinis
This definitely relates to the above point, and sucks equally. But also because some people wear bikinis that just aren't pleasant to look at, or queue the appearance of the green eyed monster. Fun, fun.

Hot drinks aren't cool
I am a huge fan of hot drinks, particularly coffee, and I drink multiple cups a day. When it's hotter than the sun outside, this becomes a teeny bit of an issue. Screw you, summer. I need my coffee.

Grass
Hay fever. Grass. Cutting the grass. Urgh.

Bright, sunny days
This is particularly annoying when driving and the sun pummels your eyes through strong sunglasses. I mean, there is absolutely no need for it!

Teenage girls
I must hear "best summer ever" come from groups of teenage girls more than 5 times a day. You say it every year, how can it be the best summer when next year you'll be saying the same thing. Flawless logic.

Steering wheel burns
I have an old car. Old cars don't have air con. I work in a cafe in the middle of a field. This means a lot of sun exposure. This is a little bit of a killer combination. The amount of times I have gone home with burned hands is ridiculous. 

Always being presentable
I hate having to always look good - girls, this means having to have silky smooth legs. Maintaining that is hell. At least in winter your legs are covered by multiple layers of clothing.

Lack of air con
We, as Brits, don't have air con in our houses; we have extreme heating. So when it gets warm we tend to melt a tad. 

Camping
I cannot comprehend what enjoyment someone can get out of sleeping under a sheet of plastic. Especially in summer when it turns into a portable greenhouse. Then there's glamping...what?...

Netflix days are frowned upon
Sitting on the sofa with headphones on, watching an entire season (or two) of a TV series seems to not be the norm in the summer. I am not sure why.

Winter seems an age away
A petition to shorten summer, and lengthen winter pretty please.


So there is why I don't enjoy summer.

What is your favourite season of the year, and why?

What's summer like where you live?





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