Saturday, August 17, 2013

The life of an internet addict

Hello there, buddies!

So I am a bit behind with writing this post...I actually planned it this morning, then I got carried away with doing everything under the sun apart from blogging. So here I am now, watching Harry Potter and writing...this could go terribly wrong - you could get the odd HP character reference or quote chucked in here and there.

I also need to apologise for the lack of my normal daily posts that I do. I started my new job a week or so back, so I don't have as much time to work on these as I used to, but we will be back to normal daily posts by September,  I promise. So stick in there!

As you all probably know by now, I am a teeny tiny bit of an internet addict...OK, a massive internet addict. 

Jim Chapman did a video yesterday (or today, I can't remember) about the fact he is addicted to the internet, and I have had this post planned for about two months, so I thought it might be about time I sat down and actually wrote it.

We will be talking about the things I do, and I expect you do, that sort of prove the addiction to the internet. 

If you do any of these things, then you are addicted. 

I saw on Tumblr this morning that in 2015 they are making internet addiction a classified mental see you in rehab, guys.

And without further ado, here we go!

My list of things that prove you are an internet addict:

  • Google is the answer to everything
    This is my answer to any question I ever get asked. I look at them like "just Google it" and they are like "ok, freak". 
  • Wikipedia is a reliable source of information
    I don't understand why people think that is isn't reliable, I mean like it isn't as if anyone can hack in and write what they want. What did you say?...They can?....Oh...
  • You use Tumblr GIFs in general conversation and as reactions
    "Raise your hand if you do this" *slyly raises hand*. This happens. Mainly with Danisnotonfire GIFs 'cause they definitely apply to every day situations most the time...
  • The word "hashtag" has become general vocabulary for you
    Guilty again....I use the word hashtag in general conversation and I am shocked someone has not stabbed me because of it yet.
  • YouTubers you have never met seem like your best friends
    I feel like all the YouTubers I watch would be such good friends in real life. Is that sad? Yes, probably. Oh well.
  • Twitter is constantly on in the background
    Yep, I always have my Twitter open somewhere where I can access it. I have even stopped midway through doing something important to check it. I even have it on in the background right now...and I am stopping every now and again to reply to a conversation with one of my readers!
  • "Enough internet for today" *turns laptop off then resorts to iPhone 5 minutes later*
    I am guilty of this every single night. Turn off my laptop, and jump straight on my phone.
  • Fanfic no longer scares you
    If there comes a point where you are no longer shocked by smut fanfics, then come join me in rehab!
  • You start to wonder what the fuck that big yellow ball of light is in the sky
    What is outside? It buuurrnnnssssss!
  • Home is where the wifi connects automatically
    Although this is strictly true, my wifi connects automatically at a few of my friends houses, too...
  • You struggle to live without the internet
  • When the internet is down, you consider the idea your life is over
    I had no internet for like a day and I used up all of my month's worth of 3G by using it as a hot spot for my laptop....
  • What are humans?
    There are apparently things in the world called people? I am not sure what that means? Like people actually meet up? Weird.
  • You start off watching normal things on YouTube, then find yourself watching videos of talking porcupines and parrots singing Gangnam Style
    This was me the other night.....I now love porcupines. 
  • You have a Tumblr account
    Guilty as charged.
  • You frequently use said Tumblr account
    Pleading guilty for a second time.
  • You have started to absolutely adore cats
    If you do not look at, reblog or frequently see images of cats then you do not spend long enough on the internet.
  • You take your laptop/phone to the bathroom
    Yep, this happens. More frequently than I like to admit.
  • You have developed more of an emotional attachment to fictional people than the people you actually have in your life
  • You get told to "get a life" but respond by pointing to your laptop and stating that it is there
    This happened the other day. My dad told me I should get off the internet and go get a life, so I pointed to my laptop and proceeded to explain that I have a life...My mum also told me to get some sunlight, so I just opened the curtains. Trolling.
  • You have a blog
    Hell yes!
  • Losing a Twitter follower seems like the end of the world
    I lost a follower the other day and I got really upset. I am so lame.
  • Gaining a new Twitter follower deserves a bottle of champagne
    No joke, this should be a thing.
  • You schedule your life around live internet shows and streaming opportunities
    My examples...YouNow live shows and Dan and Phil's Radio One show on Sunday night at 7pm....
  • You know the name of every meme
    I shit you not, this is so beyond true.
  • You're aware that internet addiction disorder is a real thing - and you don't care
    I will be an active member of rehab if this does get recognised as a mental disorder. See you there, lovelies.
  • You are an active member of several fandoms
    My Tumblr dashboard basically shows I am a member of about 294937402 fandoms...
  • Tumblr-isms are second nature to you
    Too right. The epic feels when I read a smutty fanfic about my OTP....I can't.
  • Your browsing position has been completely perfected
    Although my browsing position looks uncomfortable, it is considerably comfier than anything else.
  • Sometimes you start sentences with "I saw this on Tumblr/Twitter the other day..."
    This happens more when I am talking to Vikki, who is a fellow internet addict like myself, as she will know what I am on about....I am trying to teach my Grandma about Tumblr and whatnot, but it isn't working....
  • 3am means dinner time
    Although this is also a result of the student lifestyle....
  • Slow internet makes you freak out
    If my internet is slow for more than like half an hour, I will be in a bad mood for the rest of the day...
  • Your bookmarks page takes hours to scroll through
    I currently have like over 100 bookmarks on my laptop...I really need to sort that shit out...
  • "1% battery" causes you to have a heart attack and makes you run faster than an Olympic sprinter
    This is the worst feeling ever. If you have ever got to the point where it says that then you will know the crazy mad dash you do from your browsing position to your charger to plug it in before everything dies and you are stuck with no internet for like 5 minutes....

If you are thinking "I do that" then congratulations, you are as addicted to the internet as I am! High five!

To be honest, whether internet addiction becomes a mental disorder or not, I still won't change....and I will not be getting sent to rehab (queue Amy Winehouse music).

I hope you enjoyed reading this! Tell me in the comments below if you do any of the things I mentioned, or even add your own if there are any you do that I don't! I want to hear aaallll about it!

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Also, if you have any suggestions for things you would like me to write about, then do tell me! You can either tweet me, or comment with them below!

As always, thank you for reading and I will speak to you lovelies tomorrow!


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