Tuesday, July 02, 2013

I hate shopping

Hello there, buddies!

Welcome to today's rant about the fact that I strongly dislike shopping. Yes, yes I know you are shocked to hear this from a girl, but I dislike fashion and shopping and all that shit. The only time that I find shopping relatively enjoyable is if I know that I need to go to one shop and I can get home.

I warn you now, this rant could get slightly out of hand and very extensive, so if you are easily offended or bored please look away now!

First of all, I would like to discuss the fact that I dislike trying things on, and fitting rooms in general. I really really do not like the fact that I have to change out of my clothes, as I spend a relatively long time in the morning putting my clothes on, doing my hair, and doing my make up. I  just literally cannot explain it. Having to change out of my normal clothes that I am already wearing to have to temporarily try on something, look in the mirror and take it off again. I just find this all very inconvenient and unnecessary. I find this more annoying in cheaper shops like Primark (no offence, Primark, I love you lots) as their changing rooms are not in the best of nick, and they just feel slightly gross. In comparison, there are changing rooms in shops like Next which are really quite nice, but I still find them so irritating. I have also found that not many changing rooms have stools/benches/seats for you to sit on when trying on certain items of clothing (e.g. jeans/bottoms). I don't know about you, but being able to sit down in something, especially skinny jeans, is very important. This then means that you have to either try and balance against the wall, or sit your ass on the floor....so unhygienic. It has been brought to my attention (by Vikki), that when she was in the changing rooms of a certain high street store, there was a significant amount of chewing gum stuck the the sides of a mirror....how bloody gross do people want to get?! There are a million bins all around places for you to put your gum, so why the fuck would you stick it to a mirror? Classy. I also get really agitated and irritated when someone makes me try something on. I don't know, maybe I am just a bit of a failure of a girl, or I have some genetic unbalance or something?

Then there is the issue of shop assistants. In my experience I have found that they go either way: they can be either very helpful, or they can simply not give a shit. I find it more annoying when they care too much, is that weird? I really dislike someone bugging me when I am in a store, simply because it means that I have to prolong my stay in a shop. Bleh. Whereas if they don't give a shit, it means you get get your stuff and go. So much easier. I am starting to think that I am really really weird....Does this apply to anyone else?

I now want to talk about clothes. Is it me or are they getting really skimpy and cheap looking? What happened to the good ol' days when the cardigans were full length, and the dresses didn't have the sides cut out of them? No offence to anyone who wears them as they look good on someone with a good figure. However, I am not a girl with a traditional good figure, and they just don't work on me. Also, fashion these days is just so beyond weird, but that is a conversation for a different day. I find that cheaper shops (I am a student, I cannot afford bloody Chanel) their stock can be awesome one day, then in a few weeks it all goes to shit? What is with that?! 

Now comes a moment when I sympathise with men. Carrying bags is a bitch. I have been shopping with friends who have come out of shops £80 down with like 19308219 bags attached to their arms. There has only been once circumstance in my entire life when I have left town with more than 5 bags, and that was simply because I am getting far too fat and needed to get new summer clothes. I really hate it when I have more than 2 bags stuck in my hands or arms - they just get far too inconvenient. I find this occurs in other shops as you end up bumping into mannequins, people or stands. There have been numerous occasions where I have been on the receiving end of a bitch glare from someone I have hit with my bag. They also dig in to your hands and cut off the blood circulation, then you end up getting that horrible fuzzy feeling. It is so not worth it! If shopping is done online you don't have to carry any of that shit!

Also, it is me or are clothes literally quadrupling in price? There was a day not long ago when I could walk in to Primark, spend £15, and come out with like 5 new outfits. Now, I can't go in there and spend less than that on ONE outfit! Other shops, which were already way too expensive for my tiny budget, have doubled in price. Looks like I will be living off of charity shops soon. 

I am also getting very irritated with the sizing of clothes. Like most girls, I get quite upset if i am over a certain size - yes I can be typically girly sometimes, shocking I know. Cheaper shops, I find, have dodgy sizing and I can go from like a 14 in one shop, to a 10 in another. It is a good day for everyone if I come out of a shop with a size 10, but as soon as I end up being a 14 we need to go home. Please can we not just have some universal size for every shop?! Please?!

Then there is the issue of mirrors. They are EVERYWHERE. I am one of those annoying girls who finds it necessary to check to see if my hair looks OK whenever I see a mirror. But then it works the other way as some mirrors make girls look bad, whereas others make a girl look pretty good. Not cool, dude.

And for my final point, I would like to talk about snooty bitches who judge you based on what shop you walk in to, and what outfit you buy. This annoys me immensely as I don't give a fuck about what other people think, but as soon as someone gives you that bitchy glare and looks you up and down, I want to hit them square between the eyes. Does this happen to any of you, or do I just have some bad temper issues? 

OK, I am going to stop this rant now as I could go on forever.

If you have got this far in reading then that is 10 house points to your Hogwarts house!

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