Friday, June 21, 2013

Appropriate plane behaviour

Hello there, buddies!

Ok, today I want to talk about plane etiquette, and things that annoy me when I fly (on a plane ofc). I don't know about you, but there are just certain things that are just completely inappropriate on a plane. This might be me being snobby, but there are bound to be people out there (like you guys) who find these things annoying too! They just bug the absolute shit out of me. Commence rant.

Ok the first thing that I think needs to be addressed here is parents with younger kids. Don't get me wrong, I love kids. But when you have someone's baby screaming next to you for the whole 9 and a half hours that it takes to get to Florida, you sometimes start to go a little insane. Am I wrong? It might just be me, but seriously, can you not shut your baby up for literally 5 minutes?! I have also had a flight - again to Florida, I know I am so adventurous - where some kid behind me was just constantly throwing up. Gross. And I have this major phobia of the sound of someone being sick, the sick itself doesn't bother me, but the sound....ergh I hate it so much. So you can imagine me on this flight. Grouchy as fuck just sat with my headphones turned right up so that I can't hear anything. Did the job after a while.

Another thing people need to pay attention to is hand luggage. There are a few things which bug me about this. The first is people who put their hand luggage under the WRONG seat. I am not being funny, but I really do not understand how people do this....there are videos saying to put it under the seat IN FRONT of you, but people insist on putting it under their seat. Pretty sure their life jackets are under there. If we crashed into the sea you'd be wearing your bag instead of a life jacket.....The other thing is when people constantly push your luggage out from the seat in front of you when they decide that it is a great storage place for their feet. This happened to me on my most recent flight to Spain. I have a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles shell backpack (don't judge me) and some pain in the ass kept kicking it so it would come out from the space it was in. Gah it bugged me so much. 

Now this one is just be being a picky bitch, but if you have been on a long haul flight you might sympathise. People who snore loudly. When you are flying overnight on a 10 hour flight the main thing you want to do is sleep. Now I find it extremely difficult to sleep on a plane, but when you have that one bald guy opposite you just snoring so loudly with his mouth wide open, you just wanna plug a pillow in his mouth to shut him up.

This one is more aimed towards planes themselves. Well not the planes, but plane companies. This problem I have would be plane food. I have never had a great experience with plane food, it all seems to be bland cardboard-ness. I have also had what they called a bread roll which was frozen to fuck. Lovely. At least they try and make up for it with little bags of pretzels and mini ice creams. To give credit to them, breakfast is usually ok. I love the little pots of orange juice they give out. I'm sad.

Another thing that bugs me when I am on a plane is when you land. People think that as soon as the seat belt sign is turned off that they should stand up, get all their shit from the overhead lockers and just stand there and block the aisles. Now I find this very irritating as it means that no one can get off the plane until they move. And every time they do this, they decide that just as the plane doors open to faff around and do stuff IN THE AISLE so that you can't get out. Aaaahhh some of us want to be off the plane we have been stuck on for hours! Jeez.

I wanna mention appropriate behaviour when there is turbulence. I have flown through a hurricane so I know bad turbulence. I know it is a scary thing, and that people panic. But when a flight gets slightly bumpy and you hear people screaming and shouting I just do not understand. When you are flying through cloud it will tend to get bumpy because of the are not going to free-fall out the sky are you? So chill your shit and have a drink.

Chair kicking. It is just completely unnecessary on planes. I am not being funny but you are not the only one who is uncomfortable. My dad is 6'3 and you don't see him kicking anyone's chair because he is all cramped up do ya? No, you do not. So please, 5'3 woman, stop kicking my chair because it winds me up and I will turn around and give you death stares. Thanks.

And finally (I know, another long rant. Sorry), there is the situation of annoying air hostesses (don't start singing Busted). Does no one else find it incredibly irritating when all they do is smile? I wanna see one get really pissed off and shout at that kid who won't stop pestering, or the one person who is always pressing the summon button. Omg that would be awesome. 

Ok everyone, overly long rant over now. If you have read this far you deserve my eternal love!

That is all for now. Don't forget to use the media buttons to your left to do all your stalking! 

Speak to you later.


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