Saturday, July 21, 2018

Disney Villains: Ranked

15. The Evil Queen (Snow White, 1938)

Disney Studios
Ok, let's face it, out of all the villains she has less of a presence. Her scrappy little deal with the Huntsman about hearts and then not checking that it was a human heart. Rookie error! And her big collar on her cape is so unnecessary I can't ever look at her and not think it would be so irritating and tickle the back of her head.

14. Scar (The Lion King, 1994)

Disney Studios
Scar is great with his sarcasm and his multiple eye rolls, but he ends up as a rug. So things didn't end quite too well for him. He goes from walking over other people to being the one walked on. Let's also not forget that he keeps Zazu captive in a bone prison which then makes him sing "It's A Small World' and that always gets in my head, which I don't like. 

13. Lady Tremaine (Cinderella, 1950)

Disney Studios
I would like to clarify that we are talking about animated Lady Tremaine, not awesome live action Lady Tremaine. She falls so down the bottom of my list just due to the fact that she is so petty and I don't love to hate her, I just hate her. And who does their hair like that?! 

12. Dr Faciler (The Princess and the Frog, 2010)

Disney Studios

OK, Dr Facilier is great. I just haven't seen the Princess and the Frog as much as I have seen the other films. I just wish he would go to the dentist and get his teeth sorted out. 

11. Prince John (Robin Hood, 1973)

Disney Studios
Prince John's significant lack of attention lands him at number 11 on my list. Robin Hood and Baloo, er I mean Little John, did not look at all different from their usual selves when they kissed the diamonds from his rings. Who has such cheap rings that their stones can be removed by a kiss? 

10. Mother Gothel (Tangled, 2011)

Disney Studios
Mother Gothel goes in at number 10 for several reasons. Who steals a baby? I should also put the parents in here because who, as a King and Queen of a kingdom, doesn't have a thousand people searching everywhere for that baby? Secondly, she frames Eugene by tying him to a boat and pushing him away in the hopes he doesn't untangle himself (see what I did there?!). Lastly, she just point blank lives her lies. Who can keep that up for so long?!

9. Jafar (Aladdin, 1992)

Disney Studios
Jafar hits the list pretty much in the middle. He is a great villain, but he is a snake. Literally. He also makes other people do his dirty work, so he is lazy. He must spend all his time styling that teeny tiny beard of his and then run out of energy. And, honestly, Iago is funnier than him. Not sorry.

8. Cruella De Vil (101 Dalmatians, 1961)

Disney Studios
Cruella is a textbook villain. She hates everyone and everything and her name is literally devil. You can't get more obvious that that, I don't know how Anita didn't see it. If she put less money into dying her hair two different colour and chain smoking all day, she might actually get somewhere. 

7. Maleficent (Sleeping Beauty, 1959)

Disney Studios
Maleficent kind of did everyone a favour by letting them sleep for a stupid amount of time, I could do with that sort of curse. She struts into the palace like she owns the place, complaining that she didn't get an invite, which clearly she didn't get for a reason, and then acts shocked when no one wants her there. Take the hint! She is another one with a ridiculously annoying high collar. What is it with these villains and their odd clothing choices?

6. Captain Hook (Peter Pan, 1953)

Disney Studios
Captain Hook would have landed higher on the list if he was nicer to Mr Smee, who clearly just wants an easy life. I feel like he compensates for something with his flamboyantly outrageous hat. I also reckon he uses that hook to pick that massive nose of his. That is a skill and a half. 

5. Ursula (The Little Mermaid, 1989)

Disney Studios
Ursula is another great villain. She is sneaky, bold and oh so modest. She relies ever so less on her sidekicks than the other villains do, admirable at the very least. And, come on, she has the best song in the whole film. If I could go from the big blob I am to transforming into a skinny, good looking girl I would be pretty chuffed with it too.

4. The Queen of Hearts (Alice in Wonderland, 1951)

Disney Studios
I admire the Queen of Hearts, she does stuff her way and chops off the heads of people who annoy her. And she had a quaint little King of Hearts to run around doing the job for her. Excellent. Anyone who can play croquet using a dodo as a stick has my vote. She demands respect and she gets it!

3. Gaston (Beauty and the Beast, 1992)

Disney Studios
If we are all honest, we used to fancy Gaston a little bit. Hell, in the new live action I even fancy him now. He gets all the ladies and he knows it. He is determined, confident and cunning. It is very much a shame when he plummets to his death. 

2. Yzma (The Emperor's New Groove, 2001)

Disney Studios
Yzma may be cuter as a little purple kitten, but you can't deny she is one of the funniest villains. Her great moments go from pulling the lever to playing with the skipping rope. Having said that, another high collar! 

1. Hades (Hercules, 1997)

Disney Studios
Hades is the ultimate Disney villain. He is hilariously sarcastic, says it like it is and definitely has the most entertaining sidekicks. Hades has some of the best lines of all Disney villains and is easily the most relatable! And he is on fire. Literally. 

What can I say? It's good to be bad.

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