2015 goals

2014 is finally coming to a close (thank God!). It's been a year of mass highs and extreme lows, and I can honestly say I have never been so glad to see the back of a year.

I use goals as my sort of "new year resolution" style-y things, just slightly more important, I guess. I completely suck at resolutions, so I thought that if I altered the name of them I might stick to them. Turns out it doesn't work all too well as I hardly achieved anything from last year....

So I have decided that 2015 will be the year I sort my shit out and stop making excuses. It's time for me to look myself directly in the eye and be brutally honest. So that is what I did. 

It sucked.

I regretted it.

But December 2015 me will probably thank me for it.

These are the things I plan on doing by December 31 2015. 

Long story short, 2015 will be the year I stop feeling sorry for myself and shove every edible thing in my gob and finally lose some weight.

Hopefully that'll have a knock-on effect on everything else because it makes me extremely uptight about life.

I also need to not break my laptop. My history with laptops is pretty poor, so maybe I might keep this one a little while?

Finally, I want to stick to some of these. That is my biggest goal.

I want to look back on New Year's Eve of 2015 and realise how much I have achieved. Maybe I should start one of those jars where I put every achievement in it and look at it next year?

None of that "new year, new me" crap, I'll still slip up every now and again, and I'll still make a tit of myself every day. But who cares?! Let's have a lot of fun in 2015!

 

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Note to self | #1

Recently I have been feeling quite down about the way I look. I don't know why, and I don't know why it even started. I think it has been one of those things that has been building up for the last few years. 

I have decided to talk about it on my blog to see if I am the only one, or whether some of you guys reading this might be feeling the same way. I've turned it into a little series where I can just vent about what I am feeling, not sugar coated, just cold, hard truth.

The other day I found a picture of me about 6 years ago. I was slim, toned, and about a size 8. I am now the opposite of those things. I have a bulky stomach, several chins, and my thighs are huge. I joke that I am growing into my winter coat, when really all I want to do is tear away at my skin chunk by chunk and throw it away.

As much as I know this is all down to myself, I also contribute this to several bad break-ups, a lot of drinking, and really bad and unhealthy lifestyle choices. I know that weight is just a number, and I feel like such a hypocrite for posting this because of how I try to make other people feel positive about these sorts of things. But there is only so long you can really bottle things up for.

It has gotten to the stage where I can't even look in the mirror at myself above my shoulders (thank god for my strategically placed mirror), and I end up swamping my body in several layers of clothing. 

I don't feel good about myself. I think I look disgusting, there is nothing nice about the way I look that is natural. 

I take massive pride in my make-up and perfecting my hair. But this has become almost a mask for me to hide behind.

I can honestly say I haven't been happy with the way I look for about 5 years now. 

I have tried about 4 times to kick-start a diet, a new workout routine, or even to starve myself completely (yes, I am well aware this was an absolutely stupid idea).

I feel like I am in a dark place, and I am getting better at hiding it. My smile and jokes have just been a cover-up when all I have wanted to do is cry for hours every single day; I just can't seem to help it.

Since I stopped suppressing the way I felt about my body and sat down and carefully thought about it (even if that did result in tears), I have somehow put myself in a more positive mindset.

I have made a few smaller changes in my life, which are gradually leading to bigger ones. I stopped drinking; I reduced the amount of fast food I was eating; I reduced almost all sugar from my drinks; and I removed some of the small things that were making my feel bad about myself. Even if that included people. 

Tiny steps lead to bigger strides.

I am hoping in the next few months that I can kick myself up the ass and get back to working out, whether this be on my own, or with one of my friends. 

It has taken me a few years to get in the mental state where I feel ready to conquer the way I feel about myself, and get back to the happier, self-confident person I was back then.

I know it will take time, and luckily time is something I hope I have a lot of.

I am still not entirely sure whether I will post this or not. I usually try to refrain from making my posts too personal, and writing my honest feelings down was really hard. No doubt I will get some negative comments, but hey ho.

I hope that I'm not the only one who feels like this. Maybe I could have an online work-out buddy to help with everything. Who knows?


Keep swimming.

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Ask.fm concerns - RIP Hannah Smith

Hello there, buddies.

I want to start this post off by saying RIP Hannah Smith. Hannah was only 14 when she took her own life last week. 

Just as a warning to my readers, if there are any comments of a negative kind surrounding this matter you will be reported and blocked. Suicide is a very serious matter and I want no negative comments surrounding this at all.

Hannah was bullied online by people using the website ask.fm. For all of you who do not know what ask.fm is, it is a website where people can sign up and ask others questions and post comments to people. There is the option to ask questions anonymously so that you cannot be identified. The site is extremely controversial and is based in Latvia. Ask.fm have issued a statement saying that they are not responsible for the content posted and that they do not monitor what is posted. This is a discussion point I shall move on to later.

Hannah, who was from Leicestershire, hanged herself due to comments posted on this website last Friday. She indirectly called for help by posting an image saying "You think you want to die, but in reality you want to be saved" on a social media site on Thursday, the day before she took her own life. 

Hannah's father posted this message on his Facebook page:

"On Friday morning my daughter was found hanged. Last night I seen her ask fm account and someone had been telling her to die. The person that created this web site should be done for manslaughter  (sic.) any parents that have children please dont (sic) let them go on this site"

"My heart is broken in 2 and is gonna take a long time to repair I just hope that none of you have to go through the pain Im goin through rite now and love u all (sic)"

I personally find this so heartbreaking. The father also posted an image of flowers that had been placed outside Hannah's house.

The Leicestershire police have seized both her phone and her laptop to be used in the investigation. 

Various messages have been posted on Facebook by her friends, boyfriend and family saying how shocked and saddened they are at her sudden death. I will not be posting these messages on here out of respect for the involved people and to not further show their identity.

This is not the first time that a teenager has taken their own life over comments made on this website. Two girls ages 15 and 13, and a boy aged 15 have also taken their own lives due to these awful comments.

There has been a tribute page set up for the teenager online which currently has over 6000 supporters; both of friends and strangers offering their support.

Hannah received some incredibly horrible comments on her ask.fm page where people called her a variety of awful names and many told her to kill herself or to die. Someone even told her that her uncle deserved cancer and to die. This is completely unacceptable and no one ever deserves anything like that whatsoever. There were many comments on her page, of which I will not be mentioning on here due to the incredibly harsh nature of them. 

All of the comments posted to Hannah's page were all done by an individual, or group of individuals, anonymously so their identities could not be traced. This I find highly pathetic. How can someone say things like that to a person online and feel nothing for what they have said? Ask.fm, along with many other social media sites, allows people to use the internet as a mask and hide behind it. They feel big and clever on the internet when they think they are unidentifiable. I hope for Hannah's sake that the vile humans who posted these comments to her page are traced and charged for her death. I do not even care how old they are, things like this should be completely intolerable.

I have a strong hate for this website, which has now only been deepened since hearing about this. Ask.fm is a website which simply fuels hate and pretty much no good ever comes out from it. Hannah was tormented for pretty much every aspect of her life, seemingly by people who knew her, due to this website. Frankly I agree with her father, Dave, in that either the creators of the website or the people who wrote the comments should be charged with her death. Many people will probably argue against this, but there is a rule in law called the 'but for' test. This means that but for the actions, the result would not have occurred. This definitely applies here - but for Hannah taking to this website and receiving these comments, she would not have been driven to taking her own life. Now all you awful people out there who are thinking that it is "her fault" I ask you this: do you sign up for a website expecting to be hauled this huge amount of vile abuse? No. You do not. How would you feel if this was your child? I am telling you, even I feel absolutely helpless after reading this case.

 I will go out of my way to get this site taken down if I have to. No one should ever suffer the amount she did, nor should they receive the hurtful and vile comments that were sent to Hannah. The sheer fact that she was affected so much by the comments to the extent that she took her life should prove that this website is completely vile. 

I believe this calls for an extreme crackdown on bullying and cyber bullying. Although it is probably an unsolvable situation, there can be things done to lessen it, and to protect vulnerable young people. 

RIP, Hannah.

I ask you to share this post and to sign this petition by clicking here to ban the Ask.fm site to prevent further deaths.

Thank you.

Toodle-oo.

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Ultimate Blog Challenge Introduction: My posts

Hiiii-aaaa!

So I have told you a little tiny bit about the Ultimate Blog Challenge (UBC from now on as I am lazy). Now because I have told you about it, I can finally tell you a bit about what my posts are going to be about! Yay!

After much deliberation and research, I found a little page on the old inter-web. It was full of awesome holidays from all over the year. I know what you're thinking, but we aren't talking about your bog standard holidays like Christmas, bla bla bla. We are talking about crazy, random things here!

From this, I decided that I would be focusing my UBC on the random holidays I found for July!

Each day will correspond to the holiday I found, with the exception of the 16th which will be a post dedicated to Vikki as it will be her birthday!

Each post will include information about the day, things you could do and my ridiculous ramble about it - you all know how much I like to ramble.

In addition to these I will be starting my new segment of "A Day In The Life" where I will be boring you with the non events of my life. I am sure you will enjoy it.

So stay tuned over the next month for my 2 daily posts!

Toodle-oo!

More Q&A about me!

Hello there, buddies!

Since my last Q&A went down so well, I thought I should do another one (hopefully this will make up for not posting last night. Sowwwyy).

So without further ado, here is random questions alllll about me, yay! These are probably more random than the last ones....

Do you have Netflix?
Erm nope, can't say that I do.

What are you doing tonight?
Blogging, YouTube-ing, Facebook-ing. As you can see, I have no life.

In winter, would you rather wear a jacket or hoodie?
Hoodie all the way!

Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?
Somewhere really really hot. Like Australia? 

Are you excited for the future?
I am excited for after uni! Got looooads of plans going on!

How old do you look?
My age?....I do not know. 

Where are your siblings?
My little sister is downstairs with my 'rents watching TV I do believe.

What are you going to do after this?
Blog some more I think! Should probably write something else to make up for last night.

What color shirt are you wearing?
Brown-y colour with a lion on it!

What are you doing tomorrow?
Absolutely nothinnnnng - I am going to have a lazy day.

Do you know anything about baseball?
I know that it is an American game that we don't play here in the UK.

Have you watched a movie today?
I have not, which is weird for me.

Do you use those little kitchen clips to close bags of chips that you’ve opened?
No because I eat them all in one go.

If you made your own survey, would it piss you off if you saw people giving smart ass answers as if you were asking stupid questions?
No because it is something I would do. I have done it in the past - so go ahead. Not that I would ever make my own one of these.

Have you ever voluntarily read the Bible?
Erm, no.

If you have a personal blog not used for surveys, how often do you update it?
This is my "personal" blog.

Why do you think most teenagers don’t enjoy reading?
Most teenagers don't think it is "cool" to read. That is exactly what is wrong with this generation - everyone thinks that reading is a "geeky" thing to do, whereas I fucking love reading. Can't think of anything better than getting into a good book.

How much is gas where you live?
Far too expensive.

Last test your memory, what were you wearing during your last kiss?
Probably my PJs haha.

Do you take walks often?
I go for a walk at least once a day.

What kind of underwear do you wear?
Some that fit?

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
Definitely not.

What kind of condoms do you use?
Whatever is about?.....

Were you happy when you woke up today?
I was excited and nervous, so I guess that is a type of happiness?

Do you draw on your binders/notes when you’re bored in class?
Hell yes. I do doodles all the time.

Do you have any gay friends?
Quite a few.

How many good friends do you have?
I have a close bunch of like 8 friends I would say.

Do you like the state you live in?
I don't live in a state lol.

When was the last time you were on the phone?
Earlier on today when I was ringing my boss.

Are you good at writing?
I like to think so - you guys may dispute that!

Can you keep secrets?
I try to, yes.

What’s your favorite holiday?
Christmas? I don't actually like Christmas. Something that doesn't involve people buying me anything. NEW YEAR. 

What is the last thing you ate?
A cheese and beans pasty. Yup, you heard me.

Did you get any compliments today?
I got told I am good at my job? I don't know.

Have you ever gone to court?
Only to view a trial.

What towns have you lived in?
Swindon and Plymouth.

When was the last time you drove more than 15 minutes?
This evening. 

Have you ever thrown up from drinking?
Never! Sounds like I don't get drunk. I do, I just have a very strong stomach. Touch wood.

What’s your favorite kind of ice cream?
Cookie Dough, you just cannot beat that shit.

When’s the last time you got your eyebrows waxed?
I have never got them waxed.

Have you ever gotten a spray tan?
Nope.

Why did you last cry?
I cried at Eastenders last night. Yes, I am that sad. 

What is something you hate?
Being skint.

What is making you angry right now?Hay fever. Such a mother fucking bitch.

Did your last kiss take place on a bed?
I think so?

What are you most anxious/excited for?
Excited to get back to uni! Can't say I am anxious about anything.

Are you satisfied with what you currently have in life?
I am indeed.

Did you watch the Super Bowl?
No. 

Do you like Chinese food?
Hell to the yes!

Are you texting anyone right now?
Nope, my phone is dying slowly.

Is anyone else in the room with you?
There is not.

How are you feeling right now?
Shite - hay fever will be the death of me.

Are your parents strict?
Not really? Define strict? I sort of lead my own life when I am here.

Are you a virgin?
I am not.

How many people can you trust?
About 4. I am really bad at trusting people. 

Do you use hand sanitizer constantly?
I don't. 

Have you ever been on a train?
Yus, I use trains quite a lot.

Who was the last person who held your hand?
I do not know.

Have you kissed someone with braces?
Nope - they kind of put me off. Is that bad?

If you could change your eye color, what would it be?
I don't want to change my eye colour! My eyes are like a turquoise colour. I like them.

What is the wallpaper on your phone?
Danisnotonfire, Amazingphil, and JacksGap. Ultimate YouTube fan girl.

How many pillows are on your bed?
About 10. I like pillows.

Have you ever had a surprise birthday party?
I have had a surprise birthday meal if that counts?

When’s the last time you cried?
Did I not just answer this?

Who was the last person that made you laugh?
Meg, Becky and Andy this afternoon.

What’s the longest you’ve ever talked on the phone?
I have spoken on the phone for like 4 hours, but that's it.

Where did you last go out to eat?
Bottelinos last night for Butler In The Buff...mmmmmmm.

Do you have a hard time admitting you’re wrong?I do. I don't know why, but I always have.

What’s your favorite season?
Summer - if I am on holiday.

Have you ever thought that your life was so bad you wanted to give up?
There have been some moments when I have thought about this. But these moments are all from my past. I am very happy with the life I lead now and the person I have become. Every weak moment has made me a stronger person.

Do you have any tattoos?
I do indeed. 

Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the mornings?
As a rule, I like them at night so I can lounge around in my towel for hours.

When is the last time you had pizza?
About 2 months ago?

Have you ever fallen asleep upside down?
Do I look like a bat to you?

Who was the last person you hugged?
My grampy!

Did you have a dream last night?I did indeed. 

If you could have something right now, what would it be?
Money.

What body part(s) do you wash first thing in the shower?
My hair is always first port of call.

Do you prefer hot or cold weather?
Hot, like boiling hot. 

Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something?
I expect so.

What is your favorite color?
I love the colour blue. 

How do you feel when someone kisses you on the forehead?
N'aaawww.

Are you dating the last person you kissed on the lips?
Not anymore. 

How old are you?
Almost 20.

Last place you kissed someone?
My flat.

How is your ex doing?
He is good :)

Have you ever done a Chinese fire drill?
A what?

Have you ever attended a school dance?
Does prom count?

Have you ever been fired from a job?
I have not.

What color are your bedroom walls?
Cream. 

Do you have a chair in your room?
I do indeed. It is all cool and funky like.

What kind of phone do you have?
I have an iPhone 5 :) 

Weeeeelllll, there you have it. More boring info about me.

If you liked it then please comment below, and tweet me @LovelyChubly with some questions for my next one!

Don't forget to subscribe to my blog and follow me!

Toodle-oo! 

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How to chat up girls

Hello there, buddies!

Ok, this is something I would call a 'concerning issue'. I am pretty sure most guys have no idea what they are doing when they are trying to 'pull' a girl. But they think they do.

Some ways that guys try to chat girls up really bug me cause I am like "what on earth are you doing?!" - ultimate cringe. Then they wonder why they have been turned down or laughed at.

So, without further ado, here is a guide for how to chat up girls. If there are any girls reading this, you will know my pain I expect - and comment below if you know what I am talking about or if you have had any 'epic fail chat up experiences'.


One thing that I literally cannot stand is if a guy calls me "fit". Gah, I will just walk away. Really far away. Like, as far away as I can get. If you are trying to compliment a girl, please just don't call her fit. Anything else is better. You could call me anything else and I would probably be flattered. I don't know if any other girls think this, but as soon as I hear a guy say "oh, she looks fit" I want to tell them to do one. Seriously, guys, what do you think that works?!

If you are in a club scenario and you want to catch a girls' attention, the find some eye contact. If she sees you looking at her she will either walk away or walk over. Or, if she is a little shy, she might keep some eye contact but change the way she dances. This means she wants youuuuu! Yay! So don't rush over and be all "oh hey, I want you" cause she is shy, you idiot. Keep some eye contact, then go over and try and make conversation.

There is ONE rule that everyone needs to know before trying to chat someone up in a club. This is the hands and hip rule. Heard of it? You probably have if I described it properly. I'm not good at describing.....but here goes. When you are in a club, and a guy wants to dance with a girl, he will put his hands on her hips. If she wants to dance with him, she will stay there. If she doesn't want to dance with him she will move away. See, simple! This rule comes in to play waaaay more than I actually thought it did. So take note. 

Buy a girl a drink. Don't think about it, just do it.

Chat up lines can sorta go either way..... I am still not sure how I am feeling about them to be perfectly honest. Some are so cheesy they are hilarious! But at the same time they are so awful. Just try not to do it unless you have some crazily brilliant success rate.

If you have been trying to chat up a girl for more than 5 minutes and she is showing no signs of wanting you then give up. Sorry, buddy. It just ain't happening. Move on!

Please, please, please, don't send your mates over to talk to us first. Pretty sure kids do this! Come on, we are adults now! If you want to talk to her, then YOU go over.

Be confident! There is nothing more attractive in a guy than confidence. But don't over do it and look cocky, cause this will just put a girl off. 

Be polite. You might be slightly drunk, but general courtesy doesn't go out the window as soon as you step foot in a club. And do not get all shitty with her if she turns you down.

Don't always expect sex. So many guys just expect to go out and try to get a girl in bed. This now sounds like I am generalising, but this has been the thing in my experience (now I sound like an old woman...). A girl has standards, and usually won't go all out on a "first date" scenario. So be a gentleman, walk her home, and if she invites you in then bingo! But if not, don't be all shitty and act like a little bitch. Yeah I am blunt, sorry.

Aaaand finally, if you say you are going to call her, then actually call her. Many girls have been victim to guys saying they are going to call when they don't, and it sucks. If you are going out with the intention of just getting loads of numbers, then move on, buddy.



So that is my little tutorial. Probably a load of useless shit :) but these are just my experiences. Comment below if you have had anything similar, or if you have any tips!

Please don't forget to subscribe and follow my Twitter at @LovelyChubly

Toodle-oo!

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