Hello there, buddies!
Ok today I am going to talk about things that you should just completely avoid doing when you go out. We are talking like 'out out here, not just 'out'. That will make sense to come people....if you understand that then high five!!
So I have managed to compile a list of about 12 things you should just not do. If you do these.....you need help. Having said that, a few of these are talking from experience.
This one is talking from experience because it happens to be every single time. Don't play ring of fire if you know everyone has previously made a pact to get you absolutely hammered. There have been several nights out that I don't remember thanks to certain people (Vikki) making a pact with everyone else to get me extremely drunk. If you know your friends are going to do this then you are absolutely screwed :) There is literally nothing you can do but enjoy getting drunk.
The second thing is don't text people. Full stop. Not going to lie, this should be common sense, but when you've chucked a few vodka's down your throat you tend to have wavering common sense, so I'll let you off. Having said this, a simple "where are you" is ok, but it does tend to come out as "ekdjfn dkk skjkdjfd" even as an iPhone user mine still end up like this, and I have auto correct! Life can get awkward with drunken texts. If you take one thing from this...no drunk ex texts. Ever. In fact, just don't take your phone out.
Don't wear 3D glasses in a club full of normal people. Ever. You'll just get weird stares. Yes, I did this. Don't ask.
Do not, under any circumstances, take the standard "I am drunk and I don't give a shit about what I look like" picture. Because you will care when you get tagged in very unflattering pictures om Facebook the next morning. Believe me.
Don't go for a walk in the rain. It's cold, and it's wet. And you will get ill.
No duck faces. Ever. Even if you are doing them ironically (Vikki). Unless you are a duck, then that shit is ok.
Don't go out in underwear. You know what I am talking about here. If you don't, you live in a normal place. Congrats.
Never ever pretend you are drunk. You ain't fooling anyone, dude. Even all your drunk friends know you are faking. You just look daft and it is annoying. So don't. Have a few shots.
Don't be an absolute dickhead at the bar because I will plough you out the way. If you don't know what sort of person I am talking about then you are this person. I am short, but hell I will move you out the way if you are being an asshole. Just let me through if you aren't getting a drink, you are just creating clutter. Thanks.
The use of shitty cheesy chat up lines is still a definite no no. You aren't going to get laid that way, buddy.
Do not think you can dance. Alcohol can dance. You cannot.
Under no circumstances EVER should you OFFER to be the designated driver. Ever. Are you an idiot?!
Okies, so that was my 12 (I think) things that you should just completely avoid doing when you go out. This applies mainly to clubbing, but a few apply to pub nights out, or cocktail nights out, etc. So please take my advice; I have your best interests at heart!
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Okies, that's all for now!
Toodle-oo!
Hello there, buddies!
Ok, this is something I would call a 'concerning issue'. I am pretty sure most guys have no idea what they are doing when they are trying to 'pull' a girl. But they think they do.
Some ways that guys try to chat girls up really bug me cause I am like "what on earth are you doing?!" - ultimate cringe. Then they wonder why they have been turned down or laughed at.
So, without further ado, here is a guide for how to chat up girls. If there are any girls reading this, you will know my pain I expect - and comment below if you know what I am talking about or if you have had any 'epic fail chat up experiences'.
One thing that I literally cannot stand is if a guy calls me "fit". Gah, I will just walk away. Really far away. Like, as far away as I can get. If you are trying to compliment a girl, please just don't call her fit. Anything else is better. You could call me anything else and I would probably be flattered. I don't know if any other girls think this, but as soon as I hear a guy say "oh, she looks fit" I want to tell them to do one. Seriously, guys, what do you think that works?!
If you are in a club scenario and you want to catch a girls' attention, the find some eye contact. If she sees you looking at her she will either walk away or walk over. Or, if she is a little shy, she might keep some eye contact but change the way she dances. This means she wants youuuuu! Yay! So don't rush over and be all "oh hey, I want you" cause she is shy, you idiot. Keep some eye contact, then go over and try and make conversation.
There is ONE rule that everyone needs to know before trying to chat someone up in a club. This is the hands and hip rule. Heard of it? You probably have if I described it properly. I'm not good at describing.....but here goes. When you are in a club, and a guy wants to dance with a girl, he will put his hands on her hips. If she wants to dance with him, she will stay there. If she doesn't want to dance with him she will move away. See, simple! This rule comes in to play waaaay more than I actually thought it did. So take note.
Buy a girl a drink. Don't think about it, just do it.
Chat up lines can sorta go either way..... I am still not sure how I am feeling about them to be perfectly honest. Some are so cheesy they are hilarious! But at the same time they are so awful. Just try not to do it unless you have some crazily brilliant success rate.
If you have been trying to chat up a girl for more than 5 minutes and she is showing no signs of wanting you then give up. Sorry, buddy. It just ain't happening. Move on!
Please, please, please, don't send your mates over to talk to us first. Pretty sure kids do this! Come on, we are adults now! If you want to talk to her, then YOU go over.
Be confident! There is nothing more attractive in a guy than confidence. But don't over do it and look cocky, cause this will just put a girl off.
Be polite. You might be slightly drunk, but general courtesy doesn't go out the window as soon as you step foot in a club. And do not get all shitty with her if she turns you down.
Don't always expect sex. So many guys just expect to go out and try to get a girl in bed. This now sounds like I am generalising, but this has been the thing in my experience (now I sound like an old woman...). A girl has standards, and usually won't go all out on a "first date" scenario. So be a gentleman, walk her home, and if she invites you in then bingo! But if not, don't be all shitty and act like a little bitch. Yeah I am blunt, sorry.
Aaaand finally, if you say you are going to call her, then actually call her. Many girls have been victim to guys saying they are going to call when they don't, and it sucks. If you are going out with the intention of just getting loads of numbers, then move on, buddy.
So that is my little tutorial. Probably a load of useless shit :) but these are just my experiences. Comment below if you have had anything similar, or if you have any tips!
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Toodle-oo!
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