Resolutions

Normally I am not one to make resolutions, or bother with this "new year, new me" shit. I once made a resolution to stop swearing...within a few minutes several versions of the word "fuck" had escaped my mouth and from then on I never bothered.

This year, I am giving in. 

I am making a resolution. Or two. OK, three. 

I hope you are rolling your eyes at me as hard as I am right now.

My resolution, as I admitted, is three-pronged.

First, physicality. 

It is highly obvious that I am marginally overweight, despite my doctor telling me otherwise. I have an amazing holiday coming up that I would rather not look like a slightly melted marshmallow stuffed inside a pair of shorts for. So, I am pledging to you that I am going to lose weight. How much? I would like to lose around two and a half stone by December next year. I would like to have lost at least one and a half stone by the end of July, just before I go on holiday. This time I won't do it for six months, lose a stone, get bored then pile it all back on plus extra. I am going to enjoy my last few days of eating all the shit leftover from Christmas whilst I can!

How am I going to do it? Well, conveniently, in order to save for my holiday, pay my bills and survive, I will be living on £12 a week from 1st January. This means I can't necessarily buy all the shit I would usually snack on, or treat myself to the odd take out. I will be buying the same basic ingredients every single week until August - partly out of choice, mostly because I have to. I will also be using my dogs as an exercise tool, making the most out of the walks we go on. I am poor enough that I can't afford the gym, so I will be doing a home workout of some sorts every night after walking the dogs. This means a lot of planning, which I have started to do now so watch this space!

Second, mentality.

I have made no secret on here of my mental health struggles over the last few months. I have already started attempting to work on these, but it is going to be a long uphill battle to the finish line. So, I am pledging to you that I promise to do more of what makes me happy, and less of what doesn't. I am going to try and spend more time working on writing both my blog and my book which has been a great tool to channel my thoughts in to. 

I will try to stop taking on too much when I know I can't handle it; I will do the mental exercises that I have been set; I will try to stop getting stressed about the unknown; I will spend more time working on me. I have slowly learned to accept help when I know I need it, so I am going to continue working with that help to get myself back on the right track.

Third, eventuality.

I am a planner. A serious one at that. When I can't plan for something, or the plan doesn't come through it gives me anxiety. It makes me feel uneasy, on edge and unable to function properly. This is what I am dealing with at the moment. Essentially, this works happily, or not so, alongside mentality. My family have always joked that I am too much of a planner and I need to plan everything; I am a sucker for a list and I plan things down to the last second. In a situation like I am in now where it is impossible to plan for anything apart from tomorrow, I am pretty much useless. It would appear that this could be the main cause of my mental health issues at the moment, which hopefully will improve shortly. I need to get past this hurdle in my life. I am at a crossroads and I have no fucking clue where to go with it. I need to sell my house, but the market is slow. I need to save money, but I am paying stupid money a month on my house. I need to find a new house, but I can't do that until I sell this one. It is an endless cycle and even now typing this, I am feeling uneasy about everything. 

So, how does this fit in with resolutions? I need to plan slowly for any eventuality; keeping my options open but being prepared for anything that may come my way. I am being organised and trying to get my ducks in a row and I am sincerely hoping that I am going to be able to type this post bloody happier next year. 

2019 cannot come soon enough, I am so fucking done with this year! I am currently planning (shock) how to go about all of the above and look forward to sharing and whining with and at you next year. 

I still say resolutions are a pile of shit, but here we go! 

2015 goals

2014 is finally coming to a close (thank God!). It's been a year of mass highs and extreme lows, and I can honestly say I have never been so glad to see the back of a year.

I use goals as my sort of "new year resolution" style-y things, just slightly more important, I guess. I completely suck at resolutions, so I thought that if I altered the name of them I might stick to them. Turns out it doesn't work all too well as I hardly achieved anything from last year....

So I have decided that 2015 will be the year I sort my shit out and stop making excuses. It's time for me to look myself directly in the eye and be brutally honest. So that is what I did. 

It sucked.

I regretted it.

But December 2015 me will probably thank me for it.

These are the things I plan on doing by December 31 2015. 

Long story short, 2015 will be the year I stop feeling sorry for myself and shove every edible thing in my gob and finally lose some weight.

Hopefully that'll have a knock-on effect on everything else because it makes me extremely uptight about life.

I also need to not break my laptop. My history with laptops is pretty poor, so maybe I might keep this one a little while?

Finally, I want to stick to some of these. That is my biggest goal.

I want to look back on New Year's Eve of 2015 and realise how much I have achieved. Maybe I should start one of those jars where I put every achievement in it and look at it next year?

None of that "new year, new me" crap, I'll still slip up every now and again, and I'll still make a tit of myself every day. But who cares?! Let's have a lot of fun in 2015!

 

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2014 plans

A lot of people enter every new year with these so called "resolutions" in order to improve themselves or an aspect of their lives. I think these are rubbish because no one ever keeps to them and most people have usually broken them by like January 5th, so I don't bother. Instead I make some sort of plan. Now I know you are probably thinking that it's the same as a resolution, but that is where you are wrong! A resolution implies that it is something to be continued throughout the year, whereas a plan is something that is an ongoing thing and I don't feel under any pressure to do it in just the one year.

So in true form I thought that there could be no better people than to share my plans with than my lovely readers. If you manage to read through this completely and not either think I am an idiot, or decide to unsubscribe then you get a bunny rabbit wearing a top hat as a reward. 

The first sort of plan is that I want to do more things for me. The last year and a bit were all about me making decisions based upon someone else who quite clearly did not reciprocate - although at the time it seemed as if they did. Looking back on the last god knows how long, I was unhappy, unstable and not myself. That's a big thing for me I think, I have and always will be true to myself, but I let one person manipulate and control how I felt and what I did and that is not how I want to live my life. I am a very independent person: I will not ask for help, I will almost never take advice, and I am as stubborn as they come, but that is me and I very much doubt I will change. So from now on it's going to be a matter of doing what makes me happy, not what makes someone else happy. 

On a relatively similar note I want to be a lot more comfortable in my own skin. As a female I find myself at a constant struggle with the attention on appearance. As a twenty-something year old I also find this something that I have to deal with on a daily basis. I have said numerous times in different posts about not letting other people's ideals influence how you feel about yourself, so now I am actually going to start taking that advice. I want to be more comfortable with my body - I am never going to be a six foot size bloody 0 model. I am a normal, curvy woman with fucking ass and boobs, so who should go around telling me that because I am chubby I shouldn't be happy? Well boo-fucking-hoo to whoever makes up those rules, please go shove them where the sun doesn't shine thank you very much. 

The last personal note I will include on this one, and I shan't go in to much detail because my private life will remain private. But for once I don't want to fuck something up, or be the cause of pushing someone away as that seems to be a common denominator in the last 5 years. I can honestly say that right now I am the happiest I have been in a good 6 or 7 years now, and I want the reason for that to be there for as long as they want to stay there. So that will probably mean the likes of my blog will take a bit of a back seat because it does take over my life quite a lot, and I shouldn't let it. But yes, I digress, I am a happy bunny at the moment, and I look forward to seeing what the future brings to this little part of my life.

Anyway moving on from that completely, we turn to my blog. As you can probably see I have had a few overhauls in the last month or so. I have changed my design a fair amount and I do quite like the way Lovelychubly looks now. I think it looks a lot more professional than the overcrowded mess it was a while back. So I think there are a few developments that I want to make on here.

First of all I actually want to crack on with How It Should Have Ended because I have been saying that I am going to be writing it from day one and I have been so busy with work and university that I just haven't found the time to sit down and properly plan everything. But I have changed the direction that I am going to go with it - an update shall follow soon. Hopefully I will have it completely fully written within the next 7 months and it will hopefully be published not long after that! Don't frown and think that it's a long time...it takes a lot of time and effort to sit down and write a novel so keep your eyes peeled for little snippets here there and everywhere. Also if any of you are still interested in illustrating it then get hold of me by clicking any of my social media links on the sidebar. 

I also have another little series tucked up my sleeve. As you know I study criminology at university, which is completely unrelated to writing. So I thought why don't I combine the two and start a little chapter-by-chapter thing on my blog which, when completed, will essentially be a book? So that is what I am going to do. I will be looking at writing some sort of detective style crime novel, but specifics and whatnot are quite fuzzy at the moment so keep your eyes peeled there, too!

I think that is everything mainly to be honest. There are obviously little lifestyle habits I want to kick but they are completely boring and utter nonsense for you guys so I saved you some time there.

I just want to take a quick moment to say a little something to you all:

I originally started Lovelychubly just as a place to vent my thoughts and to have a little rant; never did I expect that it would take off to the level that it is now. I have gone from a crappy little blog to a full on website in the space of 6 months, and I have been offered so many different opportunities because of my writing becoming so popular. For this I have you all to thank. My posts could never have got to where they are without the audience who read them, so thank you very much to all of you! If I could hug all 12, 000 of you I would! I hope that you do keep coming back to see what Lovelychubly has in store for you, and I promise I will get back to my regular posts soon enough. Hope you had a lovely new year and didn't get too drunk, you messy lot!

As always thank you for reading. All my social media links are over in the sidebar, and do feel free to share and comment and all those annoying little things I ask you to do all the time. 


Goodnight, lovelies.