New Beginnings

Suddenly having a larger amount of free time has really allowed me to think about what I should be doing with that time. I have a lot of time I can now dedicate to myself. They say when one door closes, another opens. I am hoping that now the door has closed on someone else, that I can open the door to myself. 

Over the last couple of years I stopped watching TV. Not for any good reason, just because I’m not all that good at sitting down and relaxing - I would much rather be doing something productive with that time. So I have watched a couple of box sets; Jane The Virgin and Gossip Girl. Any recommendations on what to watch next whilst I wait for Game of Thrones would be great!

In the run up to my holiday, which I go on next week, I’ve been wondering what to do when I get back.

I’ve always loved writing. That is the whole reason you are reading this now. It’s always been my passion and what I’ve been good at. I’d constantly write short stories or essays for fun. Yes, I am THAT person. So, I took the plunge. I have started writing a book. I’ve written two chapters around 6000 words so far and I have loved getting my creative juices flowing. The book will take a back seat whilst I’m away but I’m looking forward to picking it back up when I get home.

Another thing I will be focusing on and that will be documented on here after my holiday is my health and fitness. If you’ve read some of my previous posts, you’ll know that my mental health has taken a significant hit recently. I’m looking forward to taking time for myself and figuring that out. I’m also going to be working on my physical fitness. It’s time to get my diet and exercise back on track to lose some weight. 

I will also be focussing on decluttering my life. I have a lot of stuff, I mean boxes full of it that I haven't looked at in years. I have old things from my childhood that I definitely don't need. Sure, some of it is sentimental and I will keep those bits. But a lot of it can go. I would like my new house to be a modern reflection of me - no clutter, no bits on the sides, just plain and simple. 

I will also be looking towards Christmas. I love Christmas and I am really looking forwards to spoiling my dogs! Now that I don't have a big family to buy for and I am shorter on money than I would like to be, I am looking forward to doing simple things like crafts and baking. I am going to buy stockings for my dogs because I am also that person. My dogs are my babies and who doesn't spoil their kids a little bit at Christmas?

I always suffer from a case of wanderlust and, although I blame one of my friends for this (she will know it is her!), I have a love of new places. They don't have to be abroad, they can be here in the UK. I'd like to go to places I have always wanted to go - California, New York, Tokyo, Hong Kong, Shanghai. I'd also like to take my dogs on a little break somewhere (once they have calmed down a little!). 

My final thing I want to spend time on is my friends and family. When things went wrong, they were there to put it back together. I have friends that I hadn't seen in years that I would like to spend more time with and friends who I see almost every day that I'd still like to see. 

So, the future is bright. Things are going to be busy - exactly how I want them to be! 

Incurable case of the block | meaningless ramble

Today is just one of those days. I don't want to move, I don't want to get out of bed, and I definitely don't want to face the world.

Why?, you ask. Well, that is an answer I can only imagine to answer, and that way it shall remain.

It feels like an extremely long time since I have just jotted my thoughts on to paper and just let everything flow through my pen. Since my favourite pen has since decided it had taken its last breath, and my paper being a good 6 foot away from the end of my bed, I have decided to take to this little space to just chat. 

This blog was originally created as a little place for me to just rant, ramble, and use essentially as a space to keep myself sane. It just so happens that a lot of people tend to feel the same ways I do at times, and you have all taken to joining me on this little journey through life. Something I will always be so thankful for, despite the shock that it actually became popular.

So, considering today seems like it is going to be a bed day I think there is no better time than to do a general life update, and all those little shitty things I seem to not write about anymore.

So, where to begin?

Ermmm....well, I managed to hand in 3 essays over the last two days which is a pretty good achievement. Considering I am the queen of procrastination, and have been extremely distracted with thoughts of home at the moment, managing to actually complete those essays made me feel so good. 

I have also made some really good friends over the last two weeks, and stepped away from a fair amount of people who had begun to make me feel considerably shite about myself and my life. This is somewhat of a big achievement for me; shockingly making new friends and taking myself out of my comfort zone brings me serious anxiety - something I have actually never told anyone before, so why I am telling the entirety of the internet I shall never quite understand. 

I spent all of yesterday curled in bed watching videos from Playlist Live and getting increasingly jealous of everyone being in Florida. Since, I have decided I need to go back to Disney before I explode because I miss it beyond words. 

I've also started to work properly on the book I have been writing - although I am not sure that it will ever go anywhere because I'm not exactly JK Rowling! SPOILER ALERT: I have decided to create a story of a teenage girl going through depression and the life events she faces in a 4 year period. Would love to know if any of you would actually read it - it just seems to be something that is never written about in literature these days. 

The university year is quickly coming to an end, so hopefully over summer I can give you considerably better content than what I have done recently!

In the comments below, I'd like to know any areas you want me to write about or posts you want me to do, because this writer's block is driving me mad!

Hopefully in the next few weeks this block will crumble and I can get back to my usual posts - I think writing 8, 000 odd words for my course has taken its toll.

Don't forget to comment and subscribe, and follow me on all my social media bla bla bla!

Will speak to you next time, toodles!

Top 5: things to do by 2015

Recently, in between my many breakdowns, I have been having one of those reflective thoughts about life. I had a sudden realisation of "oh shit, it's already March", and I realised I have done essentially nout in the last 3 months of 2014.

I thought it would be a good idea to give myself a good kick up the ass and have 5 goals to complete by the time 2015 rolls around, which at the moment seems like it will be in seconds. My logic is that because it is documented, and you have all seen it, that you can all help make sure I actually do these things rather than just sit around and do bugger all. 

I've decided that none of these will include my university work because that is something that I actually have to do whether I like it or not. 

1. Write at least half of my book

Although this is something I have been keeping quiet, I have been working on writing a book for around a month now. It's taking me a fair amount of time to write it because of all my deadlines and other commitments that I have, but I am getting there slowly. I am not going to give you any spoilers because I'm a pain in the ass like that. Hopefully if all goes well I can show you some of it soon!

2. Go on holiday with my friends

I am not talking some huge-scale jaunt off to the Caribbean or anything, but a week or two away with my little group of buddies would go down a treat - I think we all deserve a break. Hopefully this is actually going to happen in June as we have been looking at places to go, so fingers crossed!

3. Lose some weight

Now I don't need to lose any weight as a rule, but I would like to just tone myself up a tiny but just for myself. This isn't to please anyone else, or even to attract guys or whatever, this is literally just because I want to feel a lot better in my own skin. Hopefully that will start over Easter and continue then for however long it takes.

4. Raise money for Cancer Research

You may or may not know that my mum was recently diagnosed with cancer. This news came just a few days after a close family friend died of the same disease, and we have had several family members and friends die because of cancer. A few years ago I ran the Race For Life in my hometown of Swindon, and hope that I can do something like this again.

5. FIND A MAN

I have come to the conclusion that single life sucks dick, and I am feeling a bit lonely. I have not had the best luck with men in the past, and it would seem that I have literally given up hope. So it would be nice to have a nice guy in my life in some way shape or form, but who knows?

So those are my goals for 2014, and I am actually going to work at achieving them considering they are now documented on the internet for the whole world to see....if that isn't going to act as motivation then I don't know what will.

What goals have you set yourself for 2014?

As always, thank you for reading! Don't forget to follow me on all my social media over on the right, and stay tuned on Lovelychubly for more posts coming soon!

Life philosophy - would you do it?

This is a little bit of a bonus post for this week as I saw something on Tumblr that really got my mind whirring. Thought I would share it with you guys and see what you think. Given the fact that Tumblr is probably the weirdest place on the entire internet - if you haven't got to that dark spot then stay away, it will become addictive - I never expected to find this sort of thing on there. This is what I saw:

"If you were given a book containing your entire life story, would you read the end?"

Now then, this seriously got my brain going and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it since. I am not entirely sure why because it seems like a simple statement to make in just a simple state of mind. However, being female I tend to over think everything, and this is one of those times.

I have asked other people what they think of this statement and whether they would actually read the book, and it seems we have a really varied spectrum of opinions. Many people agreed with each other, but also differed in several aspects. It would seem that this slightly simple statement has turned in to something that has been dug even further.

First of all, I will start with what I think about it, then move on to things that other people have said etc. 

So, I have several questions for this statement - not that it can ever be answered, so bring on philosophy. 

First of all, I want to define "the end". What is the end? Surely the end of every person's book would be the same? It is inevitable that everyone ends in the same way; that end being death. So I am not sure why I would want to read the sentence "and today Danielle died". However, there is an essence of morbid curiosity surrounding this, I think. I would quite like to know how and when I will die. Is that weird? I feel like I am jinxing it now. It would be both interesting and then also terrifying to know when you are going to die. It would be like something out of a movie; a surreal atmosphere of just awaiting when you're going to die. Although it could be argued that this is what a human does. So based on this theory, I am not sure that I would read "the end" of the book simple to stop myself getting stressed. 

I think if I did have the option to read anything in this story, I would tackle the middle. This would probably constitute the next 20 years of my life from now. I'd quite like to know about graduating university, what I actually do with my life, and if I ever settle down. You know, all those details that you usually find yourself pondering anyway. Having said this, surely this would then lead to the similar situation regarding the end of the book? You would spend the majority of your life actively searching for the things that you have read will happen to you, which in turn would probably mean that you don't find them at all? Thus technically rewriting your entire story and taking you back to square one? 

Although I severely dislike surprises, isn't the entire point of life to have that element of unpredictability to keep everything in check? Whether or not you agree with this, having that surprise element is what most people enjoy in life - not knowing what is going to happen and when. The spontaneity of life would be completely ripped to shreds if you had a copy of your entire life story to hand. Humans are very curious creatures, and the smallest amount of temptation can drive anyone mad. So surely having a copy of this would essentially ruin human nature? People would become obsessed with finding this written prophecy which would probably make the world an even more nightmarish place than it already is. 

I think that most people wouldn't like parts of their life story and would think to "edit" parts out, and not face them properly. They'd get increasingly more irate with parts and focus on them, therefore focusing on the bad and blanking the good, which would most likely worsen the confusing nature of humans more. 

Having done a bit of research on this, I think people would go one of two ways about their life from reading this. The first being that of what I have already described; being caught up in knowing about what will happen but also enjoying life. Then there would be the opposite person who would give up if their life doesn't go how they had imagined it. It's likely that life would become tiring and boring if everyone knew what was going to happen. 

I'd also want to know who had written this book? Who knew so much about me as to determine my future? How had I been described? Maybe I am not as good of a person as I originally thought I was? Would I want to read all about my previous mistakes? Would I want to know about the many mistakes I am most likely going to make? 

All in all, I think I would happily sit and watch the book burn. At the end of the day, if my life was already pre-written, nothing that I can do or say will ever change it. Although I would be curious as to what someone has in store with me, I would rather not endure constant panics about maybe I had missed something, or I knew something bad was coming up.

So I ask you; Would you read the book?  

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The Fault In Our Stars (John Green) - a review

The Times says it is "damn near genius ..simply devastating...fearless in the face of powerful, uncomplicated, unironized emotion" and that it definitely is.

John Green's newest addition to his spectacular collection of original novels is "The Fault In Our Stars".

It is completely agreeable that "The Fault In Our Stars" earned the number one spot on the New York times bestseller list. Not only is the book an ultimate page turner, it is 100% addictive and I could not put it down; I read the entire book in one sitting without stopping. 

For anyone who has not read any John Green books before, where have you been?! I strongly recommend that you do so. Many of his books tend to follow the same sort of pattern, but I found "A Fault In Our Stars" took a different approach to many of his previous books which, although his previous writing is fantastic, was quite refreshing.

The book is written from the perspective of cancer patient Hazel, a 16 year old girl, and her intellectual, yet possibly hostile and shockingly true, views on the disease. The story follows her through Cancer Kid Support Group meetings where she meets someone who could possibly change her life forever. That someone comes in the form of Augustus Waters, a previous sufferer of cancer. Once Hazel introduces him to her favourite novel, things gradually begin to change as they embark on their very own love story full of tears, adventure and heart-melting romance. They embark on a trip to Amsterdam in an attempt to tie some loose ends from their shared love of a novel, but when things get slightly out of hand, will Hazel and Gus get their questions answered? Will Hazel and Gus survive the ultimate test? How will their story end? 

Several other characters emerge along the way who end up playing a rather significant role towards the end of the book, such as a boy named Isaac, who is suffering with "eye cancer". Another is Peter Van Houten (the author of Hazel's favourite book, but no more information will be given!). He is used as a developmental character, showing the opposite of what Hazel, Gus and Isaac are like, and what they could have become due to their illness. Mainly I think he is used as a contrast mechanism for the other characters - sort of showing an example of day and night; one set of characters remain hopeful about themselves and everything, whilst the other has opened to the darkness and let everything engulf him.

There are several themes that run continuously throughout the book, whether they be prominent or something underlying some of the narrative. For example, a prominent one being terminal illness. It is rather interesting how throughout the book, this theme applies to every character in some way. For example, we deal with it directly through the main characters, but also indirectly through the parents of Hazel who deal with the illness of their daughter, and through Patrick (the leader of the support group) who is a survivor of it. I have to say, this is one of the themes that really does hit home. Especially as someone who has experienced cancer through family members and friends, it really does hit in some places and it gets rather emotional. Linked to this is also dealing with loss. This is shown through several of the characters in different ways, but I want you guys to read the book and tell me what you think of that one.

The final theme I want to talk about is that of coping. Whether this has been outlines before as a general theme, I don't know, but it is one of the things that stuck out for me. This is shown in so many ways. For example, I see it mainly with Hazel. She uses literature as her form of escapism from the real world - I think I noticed this mostly because I do the same! She submerges herself in every aspect of her favourite books, and even takes on some new ones suggested by Gus to use as her outlet. I think this is also seen in Gus, who uses both Hazel and video games as his coping method. This may seem obscure to those who have not yet read the book, but I am trying to not give spoilers at the moment! Isaac uses his sense of humour as a method of coping with his illness and the events that follow. He makes jokes about things, possibly in a way of trying to ignore everything, but you never know. 

Ramble about things in the book over - you now have to read the book!

I am a self-proclaimed book worm, and I have read a large variety of books and genres - I have also read some of Green's books before. However, never in any book I have read have I experienced such a spectrum of different emotions in 319 pages. I could go from laughing hysterically to crying like a baby within the space of pages, or even lines. His amazing writing style allows readers to connect with the characters on a level that is not usually expected from a series of fictional characters. Some moments in the book are written in a comedic manner, yet had me in tears with the underlying reasoning behind what was being said.

"The Fault In Our Stars" is written from the perspective of Hazel, a format I usually find difficult to read. However, I am thoroughly impressed, as usual, by Green's depth to the character, and the understanding of both the illness and the feelings of a teenage girl. I suspect many of my readers are female, and thus know what sort of things go through your head, so for a male to understand and convey these in writing is particularly impressive as we sometimes cannot put our thoughts in to words. 

Although Green does invent fictional drugs and treatments, something you can read at the end of the book, the manner they are executed are so well conveyed. This is something I don't think I can put in to writing, so you will have to read it to find out, but I think it is written in such a good and sentimental way.

Despite the fact "The Fault In Our Stars" is written about cancer, I would not define this as a 'cancer book' because of the fact it isn't primarily about the illness, and is not something I would class as a tragedy book. As a general rule, this is a comedic book, with some sadder parts scattered throughout it. I'm not sure what genre I would generally class this under - it has so many different aspects in it! What do you think?

Overall I think this book deserves a total of 4.5 stars out of 5! The overall story line and description of almost every aspect allows the reader to develop an attachment to the main characters in a way that many books don't. 

This is a definite must read for absolutely anyone who loves to get stuck in to a good book.

As always, thank you for reading and I shall speak to you next time!

Toodle-oo!

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My memory box

Hello there, buddies!

As it would appear that my blogger challenge of 50 questions went down extremely well with you guys, that it would be nice to share some more of my personal stuff with you guys.

So today I am going to be sharing with you certain parts of my memory box! We aren't talking of some metaphorical box that I made up in my head, I genuinely have a box (well 6 big cardboard boxes) full of random bits of crap that I like to keep from places I go. So sit back, relax, and hopefully enjoy.

I haven't chosen everything that I have, but only a few little bits. I also haven't included any photographs in case people in them don't want to be included in my blog, but I might do a photo thing a bit later on if I get permission from people :)

The first is this souvenir picture book from Walt Disney World. I got this is like 2007 I think, so it has some pictures of rides and whatnot that don't exist anymore which is really cool. I would show you some pictures from the inside of here but I already packed the book away at like the bottom of the box...oops. But it includes pictures of rides, shows, hotels etc. I think it is really cool.

This is a card I got after my French GCSE in 2010 from my French teacher. This is very special to me as I absolutely LOVED my French teacher. I moved schools at the end of my GCSE's due to personal reasons, so I do cherish this card really. Which sounds extremely sad....

This is my special edition Busted CD! For anyone who doesn't know who Busted are, they were a pop/rock band from the early 2000's. I was luck enough to have the chance to meet them on the set of an old show called Ministry of Mayhem. I don't know if you know what that is but it was so cool and I got the chance to be on it for a year or so. I may or may not still have this CD on my iPod.....

This is my Harry Potter world massive cup/mug thingy that I got given as a present by an old friend. It is soooooo cool, and it weighs a ton! I love it, and have frequently had a massive cup of tea out of it. The lid says "The Wizarding World of Harry Potter" on it and it has various images from the books and films around the edges. The backdrop is set like a bridge with the Hogwarts Express on it. I believe you can still buy these from Harry Potter World if you do want one.

This is a bag from Harry Potter World. Yes, I kept a bag. But look at it, it is so awesome! Not many people get the chance to visit Harry Potter World, so keeping this as a memory is awesome for me.

This is the world's shittiest photo....These are my signed JLS pictures from their tour a few years back. Yes, they are cheesy, and yes, I am sad for owning them, but JLS were awesome. I am actually quite sad that they broke up *sniff sniff*. If you don't know who they are, they are a British boy band who rose to fame after finishing runner up on the X Factor. i am currently considering putting these up on my wall...

These are some stupid doodles from the back of my GCSE chemistry book....Shockingly I did pass with a B - not sure how I did that. These were done with a few friends who sat near me, and as you can see, the immature minds of 16 year olds came out here (this is from 2010). I literally have no idea.....

Here is my limited edition 101 Dalmatians mug! It is so cute and I have only ever used it for decorative purposes, so maybe I can sell it one day? It has this design round it, but it sorta wraps around and had Roger and Anita on the other side with Pongo and Perdy. Not really sure when I got this. I think it is from like 1998?

Ah, now this is the message written in my leaver's book by my physics teacher. It reads "To Dani, You know that secretly you love physics - don't fight it. Good luck. Mr D". I would like to point out that I do not love physics at all. I was good at it though, and he wanted me to do it at A Level, but it was just not happening. Sorry, Mr Daws.

EXPECTO PATRONUM! This is my Harry Potter World wand - it is Professor McGonagall's wand! Yes it is real. Yes I can do spells. My patronas is an elephant.

As you can tell, I really like Harry Potter. These were limited edition coins that you got when they sold Chocolate Frogs (back in the day when the Philosopher's Stone was out and Harry Potter World in Florida was not even thought of). Not sure if they did these around the world, but they are so cool! This one is the Gryffindor crest.

I went to see Steps (twice) last year. I also saw them in like 1999 and have their iconic devil horns from then, so I got a new pair. These light up - oh yes. And they flash. I wore them. For hours. So much so that they gave me a headache. There is also the tour book there which has loads of info about the tour and the member of Steps. 

The last thing I am going to share with you is this autograph. This is Nadine from Girls Aloud's autograph! Something I acquired on the set of Ministry of Mayhem in an ad break! Something I am very proud of!

So that was my memory box (sort of). I hope you enjoyed it! Post in the comments box below with things from your memory box - or you can tag me in your post and I will read it and comment!

Don't forget to subscribe (top of the page on the left) and follow me (all down the right hand side)!

Speak to you laters!

Toodle-oo!

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