Dissertation?...DISTRESS-tation!

Well, it has been a while. 

Where have I been?

Writing a freaking dissertation. 

There are not enough words in any dictionary to express how much writing my dissertation has stressed me out and make me hate words. Actual words. Especially "euthanasia", "death" and "treatment" - as you can tell, I am writing an extremely uplifting essay...

As I sit here tapping away on my keyboard, the sun is shining, birds are singing, and it's warm. 

Yet here I am. 

Tucked away in my room doing this freaking dissertation and munching away through an entire punnet of red grapes and listening to Disney World park music, pining for the next 132 days to go quickly. 

Thrilling, eh? As is final year life. 

Considering I have typed 11,000 words - and done some nerve damage to my elbow in the process - I am feeling more stressed than I did about 6 months ago when I first put pen to paper to plan this bloody thing. 

This dissertation (or dissy for short, said preferably with a slightly unimpressed tone of voice) is restricting my (totally non-existent) social life, critical EastEnders viewing time, and most importantly...food time, which now often occurs after midnight.

All I want is a few days to play Sims, where dissertations do not exist (yippee!) and eat cheeseburgers without getting fat. Is that too much to ask?

I actually just purchased a stress therapy colouring book and a set of colouring pencils. Don't judge me. I am in no way artistic, and I can barely draw a straight line with a ruler, but colouring is just so therapeutic for me. So I have that to look forward to. Yay, procrastination!

I keep thinking that I see the light at the end of the tunnel with a huge Domino's pizza, an even bigger Ed's chocolate milkshake, and a lot of Netflix. 

Then something bonks me on the back of the head, sending my hurtling head first back to reality and I realise it is in no way over.

May 21st cannot come soon enough; no more dissertation, no more placement, and no more law exams. 

As soon as I come out of that exam I am getting in to bed and only moving to pee. 

Maybe once everything is over I can post some things about how to succeed at university. Maybe I will actually get my mind together and work on the USG. If you don't know what that is then you'll just have to keep coming back until you find out. 

As much as I adore you all, I am completely procrastinating now and should be getting back to my dissertation. 

If you have any tips to help me unwind, or ideas of things to do when university is over post them in the comments below!

Toodles!

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Things uni taught me part II | Final year edition

A while ago I wrote a post called "Things uni has taught me" when I was doing my second year, of which I essentially spent drunk, bored, or asleep. 

I thought it would be a good idea to do another version of this now, half way through my final year so you can see how things actually changed.

A lot of things have changed since then, especially me as a person and my mentality and approach to my degree and university work. I have also made a lot of changes to my life, as you will see as we go along! 

I am quite proud of the person I am becoming, so hopefully that will come across in the changes I have made since this time last year!


#1. Dissertations are hard
I always knew writing a dissertation would suck, but oh my goodness it is awful. Not even awful in a bad way, but it is a lot of work. I have done 4300 words so far, and I have 7700 left. The key is slowly but surely, and choose something you don't mind writing about for 7 months!

#2. Alcohol isn't that great
I never thought this would be something that I would ever say, given I spent 90% of my second year drinking. I gave up drinking as a personal choice to help me lose weight, but also because I wasn't enjoying it any more; I wasn't getting that excited kick from it. It is surprising how much hassle I got from a lot of people because of this choice, actually. But I feel so much better for it, and not having a hangover is amazing!  

#3. Planning ahead is a good idea
This sort of applies for anything in life, but is something I have come to find a great comfort in. I plan my shopping in advance, I plan when I am going to do work, when I'm not going to do work. I live my life by a to-do list at the moment, and I am not even ashamed about it. It keeps me on schedule, and keeps my mind at bay.

#4. Healthy eating is actually possible
I have maintained throughout the last 2 years that I can't afford to eat healthily at uni. I would binge eat mountains of crap, and live solidly on microwave ready meals. For some reason something in my mind switched to a different lever a while back and I though I would give this healthy eating thing a go. Turns out it's possible, and best of all, it's great!

#5. Dinner at midnight is fine
As a slight contrast to my last statement, I still often eat at midnight - but not because I am being lazy. I have found that recently I am eating later on in the evenings because I am still doing work at my normal dinner time and I don't want to get out of that mindset and rhythm. Just because you eat at midnight, doesn't mean it has to be junk.

#6. Making decisions is hard
This is something I am pretty sure I have ranted to you about before. I am awful at making decisions at the best of times, but when I have the added pressure of a deadline, or somebody wanting me to make the decision, it seems to take me much longer to come to a conclusion. I am starting to resolve to picking things out of a hat.

#7. Graduate schemes suck so bad
I think I am going to rant about this separately, but oh my goodness, grad schemes are awful. I have applied for several of these, and each time get rejected because of my not-so-great maths skills, even when the job has nothing to do with maths. It really bugs me and I am getting so stressed out (often to the point of tears) because of it. Why can't I suddenly get a lot of recognition for my blog and use it as a job?

#8. The library really is a maze
I have never been a mass fan of the university library - it is often too big and that freaks me out a tiny bit. It doesn't help that it is often rammed, especially around deadlines which means there are loads of people so queue anxiety. When you have a very broad subject with books that cover several areas, you essentially get a mini-workout whilst hunting them down. Learn where to find your books, and you will be fine.

#9. Lecturers become a lifeline
I have, on the most part, amazing lecturers - especially my dissertation supervisor. It has only been in the last year that I have realised how dedicated and great they are. I can honestly, hand on heart say that I don't think I would be as calm as I am now if it weren't for them.

#10. Money is valuable
You don't need to eat out all the time, you don't need to spend all your money on a night out, and you don't need that new top. Stopping and thinking before you dip your hand in your pocket could save you so much money.

#11. Life decisions suck
Trying to decide what I want to do for the rest of my life is a massive pain in the arse. Can someone decide for me? Please?

#12. Your bed is your best friend
Sleep is important, so having a comfy bed is a good idea. Also, if I get too stressed I tend to take 15 minutes and sit in bed, do nothing, and close my eyes. I find that if you separate your work from your bed you will sleep much better without that association. 

#13. Work becomes essential
40% is no longer a thing to celebrate, and I have found myself spending more time on my work in general than I have socialising, eating, and probably even sleeping. But I know that it will all be worth it come September when I graduate.

#14. Coffee is better than oxygen
I am a big coffee person, I think you probably already know that. When I am doing a day of work I often go through around 12 cups of coffee. I actually recently switched to skimmed milk so I don't feel so guilty drinking so much of it. 

#15. Stress is a norm
This is coming from someone who doesn't deal with stress very well; it gets easier to handle. Once you start to see a dent being made in your workload you start to feel a slight sense of achievement, and you can relax a teeny bit.

#16. Organisation is key
I have several to-do lists, a wall planner, a calendar, and approximately 12 notebooks on the go at the moment. You can never have enough paper!

#17. Tidy room, tidy mind
I cannot condemn procrastination because of the fact that I am the world's biggest procrastinator. But recently I have found myself being productive, counter-productively. I actually clean and organise to procrastinate now, instead of watching an entire TV series in one day. Progress!

#18. It gets harder to procrastinate
See! Procrastination gets less appealing the more work you have to do. Once you learn to resist temptation you'll be well away.

#19. Priorities are needed
This is why I have a to-do list! I can prioritise the things I need to do, then get that satisfaction when I can finally tick one off.

#20. There is a light at the end!
I am finally starting to see that little pinhead of light slowly emerging at the end of a 3 year long tunnel, and I cannot wait to walk out of it! Slowly but surely!


What sort of things did you learn in your final year at university?

Or did you choose to not go?

Tell me in the comments below.

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Tiny Talk - episode five: Stress

Stress is one of those things than can come and go, be part of your daily routine, or just something that rarely happens. 

Unfortunately for me it is one of those daily routine things. 

I don't know why, and I don't know if I can even pin-point it to one individual thing - maybe it's part of university. That would probably make sense considering there has yet to be one day since September when I haven't woken up feeling stressed about something. 

If you are anything like me you will probably find it really difficult to deal with stress. I find myself getting really worked up, unbelievably intolerant of everything, and just generally becoming a horrible person to be around. 

I'm not even sure if anyone ever gets the same?

There are just those days where I wake up and instantly find that a tiny little thing can ruin my mood instantly. Maybe it's just because I'm female...are there any guys out there who get like that? 

I find that my pet peeves become the main focus when I get like this. I cannot stand the noise of someone eating with their mouth open or breathing heavily. I get instantly riled and have to move out the room if someone near me is doing either of those things. 

When I am stressed this gets a million times worse.

There are hundreds of different reasons why you might be stressed. Family problems, relationships, school or university, or even things to do with yourself might make you agitated.

When I get really stressed (as in I-have-an-essay-due-in-tomorrow-and-I-haven't-written-any-of-it kind of stress) I take refuge on my blog. Although that is usually counter-productive and I end up writing a 1000 word blog post instead of a thousand words on my essay, I end up feeling a million times less pressured than I did beforehand. 

I have also recently found that I take comfort in drinking numerous amounts of coffee when I am stressed. Considering I drink a large amount of coffee everyday anyway, this is probably not healthy. But when I am trying to be productive I think the idea of "healthy" becomes a fairytale.

I've also tried going out for walks. However, it's winter and I tend to do work at night so it gets a tad cold and dark. So instead I take a breather, light some candles, and sit looking out a window. I end up feeling a lot better than before, and usually (this being the operative word) I can manage to get something done after.

If your stress is based more around an issue, such as family or relationship problems, then you might want to take a different approach than my "avoid everything for as long as possible" idea. Try talking it through with the person, or people, involved. Even though I feel like such a hypocrite here because I find this really, really difficult, it works. 

Or if you're not feeling brave enough to come face-to-face with the person causing the stress, write a list. A list of anything. Pros and cons of the situation, why you feel like you do, things that make you happy, literally anything. Getting some emotion out on paper might make you considerably happier and feel like a weight has been taken off your shoulders. 

I mean, I should be doing work right this second but I took my avoidance approach and it worked! Onwards with my dissertation. 

What sort of things do you do when you feel stressed?  


Keep swimming!

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What makes you happy?

I was having a little think earlier about what sort of things make me happy - procrastination of getting out of bed after my exams has sort of led to this. It seems to be a philosophy or feeling that I can't always seem to completely grasp in all its glory.

At first I was questioning what really defines the word "happy". Maybe it is that fuzzy feeling in your stomach when you see someone you like, maybe it's the endless laughter over a few drinks with friends, or maybe it's the feeling of delving so far into a book that you find it impossible to get out.

No matter what makes you happy, there is no denying that feeling content with life has no comparable feeling. Being able to sit back at the end of the day and just let out a sigh realising things might just be falling into place is no better end to a day.

Obviously this isn't always the case. Something you might be finding hard to deal with may be playing on your mind, there may be a lot of exam stress, or maybe someone in your life is just really getting you down.

It is at times like these where picking up a pen and a piece of paper and making a list of all the things that make you happy can work an absolute treat. Then embrace those things; bring more of them into your life, or even go and find something completely new that makes you happy.

I recently did this as part of an exercise I was recommended a few years ago. I discovered that I had three top things that make me really happy.

1. My friends

2. Writing

3. Seeing my family happy and proud

I have a fantastic set of friends who, no matter how long I have known them, have been there for me from day one. Writing is always a great outlet for any feeling I have, whether it be through here on my blog or through interpreting it into the novel I am writing. Making my family proud has always been my number one priority, even though I was a hellish teenager. So knowing that they are happy and proud of what I am doing can always put a smile on my face.

Figuring out how to balance my not-so-good days out with a helping of happiness was quite difficult at first. There are many things going on which are completely out of my control and I found that I felt helpless a lot of the time. So to balance that out I would pour my feelings into some writing, or go out to see a friend, or even just give my mum a quick call. 

It definitely takes some getting used to; I know how awful a down day can really be. But I have been using this little technique for a while now and even writing things down that make me happy can really have a positive effect.

When times get tough, come back to that list. Go through it and do a little bit of everything; even a little smile from a friend can brighten up any crappy day. 

So I want to know, what sort of things make you happy?