Welcome To The Real World

Ever feel like you have suddenly walked into a brick wall, bashed your head so hard that you have been dazed and taken a minute or so to gain your composure, and often your mind, back again? Well, this is me right now. But instead of a brick wall, I am running fast and strong into that massive wall that is life. 

I have recently been watching Jane the Virgin (I recommend it, it is great!). Jane is prone to romanticising things; thinking the world is perfect; looking at things through rose-tinted glasses, putting her all into everything and everyone. I was wondering why I was getting into this show so quickly considering I am not a big TV person.

Then it hit me (common theme here). That is me. I romanticise things.

I spent so long focussing on the positives, or in some circumstances, trying to find or forcing positives than I did acknowledging the negatives, or flaws. 

This stands for everything from my lifestyle, my previous relationship, my work life. Everything. 

I think my current "situation" - this makes it sound so ominous but I have no other way or referring to it - has made me realise that I need to take those rose-tinted glasses off, throw them away and put on my big girl specs. 

I long for that life where everything is perfect. I long to love and be loved. I want the life you see in a film. 

Well, let's face it. That is never going to happen. Sure, I will get parts of that. Or at least I hope I will. But there will be speed bumps, hurdles and brick walls. This is one of them. 

I have spent months feeling angry, bruised and lost. I too am one of those people who puts their all into everything. I put my all into the last 2 years; into my relationship, my house and my life. 

It didn't work out. 

So what?

Why should I feel misplaced, tossed aside and angry when I should feel empowered, strong and determined?

Those rose-tinted glasses are well and truly in the bin. My big girl specs are super glued to my head and will stay there. 

Time to move forward. 

27 Things I Learned Recently

1. Life is not a movie. 
2. No matter how long and how well you think you know someone, they will surprise you. Might be good. Might be bad. 
3. Don't spend your time trying to please someone who has no intention or desire to please you.
4. Dogs, Dads and Grampy's are usually the only men who will never do anything to hurt you.
5. A good sing along at a concert at the top of your lungs to songs you love can make you feel good.
6. It is OK to get overly excited about things you love. 
7. You are a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for.
8. Friends come from all over the place. You might not have spoken to them properly for six years, yet when you need them, they will always be there. 
9. You should be proud of yourself.  
10. Do not rely on someone else for your happiness. Once you stop doing things to make you happy and start doing things with the sole purpose of making someone else happy, you are no longer happy.
11. It is OK to cry. 
12. Not everyone is going to love you as much as you love them. 
13. Get dressed, put on some makeup and a smile. It works wonders. 
14. It is OK to have a down day. It won't always be plain sailing. 
15. A proposal and a ring doesn't mean someone loves you enough to spend their whole life with you. 
16. The small things in life count.  
17. A house is not always a home. 
18. Sometimes the people you love the most are the ones to hurt you the most. 
19. It is OK to vent about things that frustrate you. If people are getting sick of it, they aren't worth keeping around. 
20. You need to let go. 
21. A relationship is a two-way street, not a one-way road. 
22. Heartbreak can make you stronger.
23. Somewhere there is someone out there who will adore you as much as you adore them.
24. Life goes on.
25. A cup of tea can fix a myriad of different problems. 
26. Life is a roller coaster full of ups, downs, loops and drops. But you always know as soon as you get to the bottom of the drop, you are on your way back up.
27. You deserve better than this.